Kraves Conundrum

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2011-05-14T03:10:00.001-04:00

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to share it with you!
Best Regards!

5 minute management course ....

2009-01-13T09:53:00.000-05:00

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide
up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak..'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way..

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129..
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and
do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the
turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh!t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your
friend.

(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
And send this to five bright people who have enough sense of humor to
take it!

A day from hell or an opportunity to let the nonsense slide off me

2009-01-06T12:59:00.001-05:00

It's been one of those days. I'm all square in my own mind, but
everything externally seems to be going to crap.

I'm going to try and not let it get to me as much, I just wish there was
something to look forward too. It's funny, since giving up EVE (which I
still miss terribly now and then) I don't feel like I have anything to
do when I get home.

I end up throwing a game on, and watching a torrent'ed TV show.
Basically bored out of my mind.

I need a hobby, oh hang on. I'm going to have another kid in a couple
or five months! That should remove this feeling of boredom quite nicely
and replace it with a feeling of "joy and happiness". As well as
wondering if I will ever have "spare" time again.

The bottom line is that I have to force myself to DO something,
anything. Otherwise I'll turn into a couch.

Starting not quite from scratch, but..

2009-01-02T14:49:00.001-05:00

So. It's a new year and with the new kid coming in June, it seems like a good idea to start the blog again. I find that I don't pass on what's been going on, and I forget myself, so I'm going to try again.

Up the duff and drama is swirling around, Teacher - who isn't one anymore so I'll call her the Wife from now on - the Wife is about three months gone. She's thankfully over most of the queasiness now but "we" have the mood swings to take care of instead.

We just got back from Ohio. That was nice, although we didn't have time to see anybody. It seems like it was a mad rush from one eleven hour drive there to the one coming back the other way.

Watched heaps of movies though, but somewhere along the line I fell out with video games. For some reason I'm not enjoying any of them! It's bloody winter and there's nothing else to do - even drinking doesn't hold the appeal it used to! What's a boy to do?

Perhaps it's books on tape that have messed me up. I've taken to listening to books on the Blackberry using the earpiece while driving to and from work. Hands free and I'm listening to something I want to listen too, not just the commercials on the radio. It seems I'm too chincy to by a decent radio for the car that has an MP3 player or even a whole for one that would pipe through the speakers.

What ever's causing this is rather annoying. What the hell am I supposed to do with the rest of the evening if not play video games while I watch the webcast of my TV programs on the other screen?!

Ahh the dilemma of a techie.

Not so shiny today

2008-07-22T07:54:00.002-04:00

After going on and on yesterday about being bright eyed and bushy tailed.. Yeah today I feel like ass as Surly would say. I wonder how he's doing?

Ah but I'm off on Friday! Ha! So it's probably the 9 hour days that doing me in. Or the lack of my morning cup of coffee.

So I'm going to have my coffee and breakfast granola bar and listen to Pandora for a bit and see if I'm inspired to work :)

Oh, I find myself in the Dog house, not only did I leave a load of washing at the laundry lastnight. I thought I'd done an awesome job of folding, it all fit in the two baskets without overflowing like it usually does. Nope simply left a dryer full of her clothes. She wasn't happy lastnight. Then this morning I go round there and pick it up, they open at seven. All the washing was there, yeah! I called her and let her know, a great relief.

Half way to work the phone goes off again. I forgot to put out the garbage. Again. Ahh what's a boy to do?! *sigh*

Hotter than shit

2008-07-21T10:15:00.005-04:00

I'd forgotten how bad it can get, or should I say, I'd forgotten why I vowed that I wouldn't live without central air ever again.

A week of 90 degree days, and window fans make a great reminder. Unfortunately the fact that all of that lovely water is just over the road makes the humidity climb something awful. Ah well, soon enough it'll be 20 below again :)

Discovered something strange about myself over the past couple of weeks. Apart from the fact that I mosquito bites swell up to the size of hens eggs, that is. It seems that if I get up a six in the morning and get to work about 7:30, my outlook on the day is much improved.

I'm not sure yet if it's down to the commute going from 45 minutes to twenty or if it's just that I'm not getting too much sleep or what, but I'm ready and (more important) willing to do all those shitty boring jobs that I would usually put off.

All in all a nice way to go.

So missed the kids this weekend. No one was home, so I missed the call home. I would have called my Dad, cos we all know how much She enjoys the conversation :) But he's on his worldly travels again. Which should in fact bring him over here next week.

Money's worrying me, not so much this week or next month even, more retirement. I smile to myself as I remember the look on Teachers face and change in the kids "tone" on MSN when I go off. I can't help it!

Why didn't anyone tell me when I was there age that a dollar in a retirement fund when your 20 will be worth over a thousand when your 60, but a dollar you put away when your 40 will only be worth 200!

(Do you like the way I keep mixing up text numbers with actual numbers? It's driving me nuts, don't know about you!)

Also knocking around the idea of finding a job in Britain, but putting my Green Card to use and trying to get posted to the US. In the best case that would mean that I would get paid in "quids" and still be able to live here. That may also help the house situation.

I was going to mention it, but nahh. Here's a link that'll tell the whole story instead:

http://www.realtyone.com/l.jackson/MyListingsDetails.asp?mls=2470720&prop=10393980

I have to go now, I'm suddenly not feeling well...

Hectic week! Holy crap!

2008-07-01T09:04:00.002-04:00

I shouldn't complain that I'm finally getting some action at work. Not that I haven't always got something to do, it's trying to get stuff that's interesting that's the challenge these days.

Seems like I've done everything most of the time. Ya know what I mean? It seems that adage "You deserve what you tollerate" is true. :)

Missin' the family, especially the kids. Seems like it's been years since I last saw em. It was last March, but.. Yeah, but. When one of em is nearly eighteen and the youngest is having pre-sixteen angst, I feel like I should be there for them. As well as the ex-wife and her husband of course, those to are doing a great job, don't think that I would have been able to handle it as well..

On a differant note. I've been feeling guilty recently for reading novels. Perhaps it's cos I've had a string of crappy ones. I don't even remember the last one that I could put down. They all seem to be bland and similar.

Anyway, I've been feeling guilty that I'm not learning anything. I feel like I have to be streching myself all the time. Accounting, or at least the correct methods of budgeting, etc. I think is the next thing I have to bone up on.

I'm sick of not having any available money! Having a house still up for sale (going on seven months now) isn't helping of course, but there should still be some somewhere! *sigh*

Basically very happy though. So don't worry about me too much :)

Unbelievable! So that's what they mean by "So do you feel different now?"

2008-06-21T12:33:00.003-04:00

Sooo. This is what they mean by "Do you feel different after you got married?"

I do! I actually do! It's brilliant! I can honestly say that I'm not afraid of what the future will bring, as long as i have her to confide and help support me :)

Yeah, I know. Sounds pants. What can I say? I didn't believe it myself at first, I thought that it was just the over excitement of the day and what not.

Of course it's only been two weeks, but here's my theory. After all I have been married before and I thought that I was blissfully happy, until the day that we had the conversation, and I left the house.

Now I realise that the people that ask if you feel different have had a lot of life experience. Of both the good kind as well as the bad.

When I was first married it was to the same girl that I lost my cherry too (I say it like that because I'm embarrassed to say Virginity) Shit I said it!

Anyway, no life experiance what so ever. And when I put the ring on, that first time, I didn't feel any differant.

Now, with all the wacky and strange things I've seen and done. As well as done to and been done by!

When I put the ring on, it was like all the emotional ties that I had to all of those things that have happed to me where severed. I'm still trying to get my soul back on the ground! *grin*

I can look back at all of those that I hurt (there aren't many of you, but those that there are, I used to think of you often), I can now think of them without the same feeling of pain and embarrassment that I used to. One day I hope that I can make it up to you or them.

I can also think of those that I was in relationships with that caused harm to me. Not because they meant it - at least most of the time - but because I settled. Usually for the first person to pick me up, because then I didn't have to work on it. It was simply there and ready.

Wow, this is getting deep! *grin*

All I wanted to say is; Yes. I do feel different. I can honestly say that I don't think that I've ever been happier.

Of course there's always next week! *grin*

2008-06-18T09:49:00.002-04:00

It's been ten days or so since this photo was taken.

Young Krave in all of his rotundness, proudly standing with his brother and new father in-law.

Still giddy, of course, the family is still with us, so they have been getting on our nerves instead of each other ;)

We have one more day, then they are off home and we have a couple of weeks alone before the next batch fly in to drive us nuts! *grin*

Love em to pieces really, just been very emotional, closing up all the wounds from the past. All good now though :)

2008-06-16T08:48:00.002-04:00

Holy crap! Is it 2008 already?! Crap it's June as well!

Once again, I was reminded that my peeps, who are scattered to the four winds, especially since I moved, have no clue what is going on in Krave land.

Basically lots and lots of changes. So far all for the good.

Have a new place to live, moved to the East Coast and now enjoying the New England lifestyle ;) There is of course some nonsense, there always is, but for the most part things are very British, if ya get my meaning.

Anyway, other big changes since I was last on, and this is probably the biggest, I tied the knot with Teacher :)

Last Saturday in fact :) Kilts and bagpipes (on the ipod) were in full force and a great time was had by all!

More later. I promise to be more diligent with the updates, if for no other reason than these entries help to to stay squared away :)

Been a long time

2007-08-28T08:15:00.000-04:00

I knew it had been a while, but I had no idea it had been this long!

To be honest most of the reason for not writing isn't block or bein' too busy. It's this crappy interface and the fact that I can't just post and have it come out lookin' decent. I need my text to reflect my personality, i can't do that with this tool.

Here I am anyway, at a loose end in Rhode Island. Oh yeah, they shipped me out here right after I came back from vacation to backfill for the local guy. Nothing like having a week without any communication with the outside world and then finding out your traveling the day after you get home, ah well.

The reason for writing is that I just heard from the middle brother. Haven't talked to him in what seems like a very long time. Blah, I'm going to look for a differant method of doing this, the fluff is all well and good but...

The week or so that was..

2007-06-07T09:04:00.000-04:00

First off apologies for not writing sooner. As you know I've been
trying not to write unless I have nice stuff to write about..
Unfortunately..

So the week or so that was; In an attempt to cheer the fish tank up we
purchased a couple of new fish for the tank. This morning I am said to
say the very last of the original fish has succumb to some strange
plague. Funny that the new ones seem to be doing fine. I have to say
that when the Angels went I was seriously tempted to put the new ones in
the freezer. I didn't though. Instead we would check the tank every
time we walked past to see if there were any more casualties.
Unfortunately there usually were. Ah well, such is live. Good bye
kids, we will miss you.

Spoke to Eldest and she and five of her closest friends are off to
England for four days for a series of concerts. I can't help but be
worried, but hay that's my job, isn't it?

Found out a women I used to work with has been diagnosed with the big C.
They don't know how bad it really is yet, but just the mention of it is
enough to unman you. *sigh*

That's it really, just a sad time. Of course as I keep telling people,
you have to have the sad bits or the happy bits don't seem as happy.

Why so blue?

2007-05-17T09:55:00.001-04:00

I was lying in bed lastnight, wondering why I felt so down.

Yes money is a bit of a problem, and if I was by myself I would simply
disappear off the face of the world for a couple of months. Or until I
had myself sorted out, which ever came first. This obviously isn't a
choice now, and for that I am truly thankful. So we have a couple of
problems, but she's gone back to work, so it should sort itself out soon
enough. No, I realised. That's not the biggest problem. Nor is the
fact that work is so slow that I'm going brain dead. Although that is
of course adding to the grief.

No I think I'm home sick again. As I've said before, it's like stopping
smoking. You think your over it, the suddenly it's like *wham* and your
craving it again. So it is with me. Teacher took some absolutely
amazing pictures which she's put on mounting boards and framed. With
those and the ones that are scattered around the cube.. Ok it's a solid
wall of pictures :) I realise how very much I miss everyone.

Gonna go now before I started balling my eye's out like a raging
girly-man! *grin*

I went camping over the weekend.

2007-05-08T15:35:00.001-04:00

This might not seem strange, since it was a lovely weekend, temperature was in the high 60's by late afternoon. The 1 3/4 hour drive sucked, but it's the States and it sometimes takes that long to get into the Countryside. That's the countryside with a capital C. Not the outer suburbs with there 10,000 ft McMansions. The camp site was so far off the beaten path that we heard coyotes howling while we were sitting around the camp fire.

Anyway I digress, all I wanted to say is that although I'm not a camping person, there is something to be said about being out in the outdoors, with a roaring fire going, reading a good book and a can of beer in your seat's cup holder. I felt the stress that I didn't even know that I had melt from me.

Did I mention that we were in a camper as well? Oh yeah, no freakin' tents for us! Still bloody freezing all night but at least I didn't get pee'd on like I have the past three times I've been camping. Bloody drunks unable to stumble out of the tent, before they begin.. Bastards! You know who you are!

I'm bored, I'm going back to the book while I wait for these patches to finish installing.. Here's a nice picture I found the other day. Me and Teacher. I think it was my 40th..

As you can see, it's all about her. I look like I'm doing my Billy Idol impression!

Thank the Gods that the war is over

2007-05-01T12:34:00.001-04:00

Finally! The war is over!

It's been over a week now that I have been unable to move around freely in open space! The bloody Privateers alliance were crawling all over me like a rash! It was insane for a while there. Especially over the weekend. My stupidity reached it's height on Saturday morning after loosing a third ship while I was minding my own business.

There I was mining away quietly in 1.0 "safe" space, watching TV and looking forward to the evening of gambling for charity. When someone flies into my Asteroid belt, sits there for a minute, then starts blinking black and red. Next thing I know there's a cloud - OK, three - of missiles flying into me! That of course wasn't the worst. No, when the combat drones came flowing out like a swarm of killer bees, I knew I was done. Literally 45 seconds from the first blink of her name to the blinding whiteout as my ship was blown out from under me.

Thankfully she didn't pop my pod, which would have sent me six systems over. And cost me a pretty penny in cash.

So I swoop back my base of operations, more than a little shocked as you can imagine. On the long way back - your pod is even slower than a tanker - I realised that I couldn't stay in the area. Fortunately I had another mining ship all setup a couple of jumps away. What I didn't
have there though was a tanker to haul the results of my mining endeavors. Once back in the station I put a couple of items in the tanker and set out, for safer space.

Before I go on, you need to know that a Hauler the size of the one that I was in, drives the same way you would expect an Oil tanker to. A mile to get up to speed and five to stop. Even then it's only going at a snails pace. Not as slow as that bloody pod, but still.

I pop into space and have the Autopilot set and I start dreaming of the riches awaiting me. Until I notice the TWO flashing names in the top right hand corner of my display. Imagine my horror when I see first my shields - not very good to begin with - then my hull starting to disappear. Due to my Mauler's massive size, like I said it moves hideously slowly. The only thing going for me was that I had just jumped into the pool. Alas, it was like watching a pair of hyena's
taking down a wounded Wildebeest. Next thing I know, a flash and my egg like pod is sitting in space again. Never a good place to be since pods have no protection what so ever. As I blink away the last of the glare, there's another flash and I'm in a station.

Two things.

First off, thank the Gods that I had insurance for the ship and the foresight to buy a decent clone. The only way to *really* feel pain after being podded in EVE is to loose training time, by not having a big enough clone.

Second, just because your in the middle of freakin' no where compared to the rest of your Corporation, it always pays to know when your alliance is at war!

Busy day! It's not all it's cracked up to be.

2007-04-24T15:36:00.001-04:00

It's been a tiring day.

My face hurts where the new mask is rubbing me. This is normal, you
just don't know where the bugger is going to get you until you start to
use them. Turns out this one is leaving a welt, like a third eye in the
middle of my forehead. Very attractive as well as you can imagine. I'd
put a picture in but I would find it disheartening.

This morning was puttering around helping people, the a rush down the
road to help the other site. Nice day for it though so it's all good.
Oh, I also found out that I may be moving into an office. That's a two
edged sword of course, cos if an office opens up then there aren't
enough people left in the office to fight over it. Still I will be able
to mine in EVE during the day now. Must get a bigger Industrial so I
can do 1.0 mining in peace :)

Had lunch with an old friend who's going through some rough times. This
is the second discussion, the last time he tells me that I talked him
off of the ledge so as you can imagine I wanted to confirm that he's ok.
Thankfully he is and hopefully I was able to put his predicament into
perspective. We left each other laughing, so we shall see.

I got back to a stack of messages, including one from the other site.
Yep had to go back down the road. Still nice, but all the driving
starts to get to ya after a while. So on the way back, I'm
contemplating what I'm going to do this evening, when there's an
enormous bang. Lets just say that I crouched down so far in the seat
that I think I pushed shit into my pants!

I look round an there's a massive truck driving next to me with a
shredded tier driving along at seventy as if nothing has happened!
Bastard. Still haven't had a chance to change my undies and my feet
hurt. I think I'm going to go home in a minute.

Nothing like a small coronary to show you what matters :)

Love ya all

Krave

What to blog about today

2007-04-23T14:35:00.000-04:00

Although I was going to take a leaf out of Surley's book and lambaste the
media about raising nut-jobs up onto pedestals, I changed my mind.

After playing golf for the first time on Saturday (with a mild hangover)
and the proceeding to become numb just in time for my bosses hi-priority
call, I've had a busy couple of days. Not to say that yesterday wasn't
used to air out the house and try and keep my suntanned ass in the
shade. I was supposed to be out mowing the undergrowth. Nope. Never
happened.

Too saw? Or simply having a lazy day?

Unknown. All I do know is that my face hurts from too much sun. Always
happens when the pale people of NE Ohio see the sun for the first time
after many months of being covered up. We all rush outside with hardly
any clothes on and forget the suntan lotion. Next thing you know, were
the lobster people. Ahh well.

I also wanted to post some of my favourate pictures that Teacher took
while we were in Scotland. Here's my current desktop, enjoy.

Lets see what the new mask brings

2007-04-20T14:12:00.000-04:00

Since I have time while I'm eating my Friday doughnuts and holes, I
thought I'd drop a line and see if it helps my day.

Went to the doctors yesterday, fourth time I've been there and the
fourth time I've got lost coming back. Twenty minutes there and forty
back. *sigh* I even had directions. Of course it's hard to read em
when your fighting everyone else to stay in your lane of the slaloms
that is the near East side of Cleveland.

Anyway he game me a different nose attachment, this one completely
covers my nose instead of just a couple of pillows under my nose. No
not that kind of pillows, here, let me try and get a picture for ya..

Here's the new one;
http://www.cpap-shack.com/images/Comfortselect%20CPAP%20Mask.jpg

Here's the old one; http://www.cpapusa.com/images/60505.jpg

The original one kept popping off during the night and waking me up.
Compared to sleeping without it, there really isn't any comparison.
Even with the interruptions from the old one I was getting more sleep
and dreaming! I rarely had dreams before, well except "those" ones.
The ones that we shouldn't speak about. You don't know what I mean?
You know those erotic ones. The ones that sometimes leave presents for
you.. *grin*

Anyway hopefully I'll be getting full nights sleep again soon. Takes a
couple of days to get used to em of course, strange pressures and what
not.

On a different topic.

I just came back from visiting the kids in Scotland. I'm homesick,
missing the family terribly, especially the kids. They are both at
sensitive periods in there lives and I miss being there to help them. I
would have said advice but of course what 16 or 14 year old is going to
believe anything thing that an old fart like me has to say. After all I
couldn't possibly have had experiences like they have. After all I'm
40! (Yes that was a deliberate drop of the age)

Just wanted to mention it. Miss you girls, love you and can't wait till
next year when I can afford to ship the pair of ya over for a vacation
:)

With little to do.

2007-04-19T14:15:00.001-04:00

With little to do I'm sitting here. Telling myself that there's no point in starting anything because I'm going to the doctors soon. Nothing serious, just the six month check up since I've been diagnosed with sleep aptnia.

Like I said not a big deal, but it's all the way across town, some 12 miles.

I know I'm rambling, I don't have anything to do! The librarian is back now and she's sucked up all the busy work that I could have been doing and my brain isn't up to configuring my new Linux machine at the office to work with my on-line video game. Usually I would thrive on the challenge, but I'm in a kind of funk. Maybe I should mention it to the doctor. I don't think that I'm sleeping all night. Don't get me wrong it's nowhere near as bad as I was with out the sleep machine. It's not as good as it used to be though, either.

Not sure if it's the extra pounds I've been putting on - although with the Teacher on the Physicians Weight Loss diet, I've been inspired and haven't been eating more than once a week. So it - my ponderous stomach - is shrinking slowly but surely. I want to do it slowly, I don't want those huge rolls of waste skin that ya see on the Discovery channel!

I tell ya what sorting through 19000 random songs is becoming a huge pain in my arse. I have music from 10 or 50 sources and every now and then I find a gem but on the whole.. Horrible! *grin* Still at least I don't have to hear the winning from the bar-stewards in the office with my noise cancelling headphones on. Holy crap, who the hell are Red Snapper? They suck...

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Hopefully this will post correctly

2007-04-18T15:13:00.001-04:00

I want to come back, honest I do. I find I need an outlet for some
random shit that's floating around in my head.

For example;

A couple of days ago there was that shooting at Virginia College. After
the initial "That's terrible". I realised that I wouldn't be able to
watch or listen to the news for the next 24 hours because there would be
nothing but; minute by minute updates, live from the scene. Which is OK
I suppose. It's when the reporters run out of new information and they
start groping around for stuff instead! I don't need to know that the
killer was stopped for a speeding ticket nine days before and no. I'm
sorry. I don't believe that being 20 miles an hour over the limit is a
pointer to his state of mind. Blah!

I keep thinking, "why the hell are they surprised it happened?".
There's no way of locking down what amounts to a small town (30K people,
including students, teachers and employees). And lets face it, since
911 and the Iraq situation, it's going to take a hell of a lot more than
33 people killed to raise my gorge.

A social commentary that is out of place.

Perhaps I was a tad hasty..

2007-04-18T10:30:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the last post. I couldn't get into my account now that they changed it over to Google. Funny, I used to really like Google, but recently they seem to have gotten a tad pervasive. Is it just me or are they everywhere?

Anyway, I now have a cool Firefox plugin called Scribefire which allows you to do WSIWIG (what you see is what you get) blogging from inside Firefox, very nifty.

Hopefully I'll be back, I find that I miss writing, not the feed back - all of which has been good, but I get blocked up when I think that I'm writing for someone else. Know what I mean?

I tried but I can't handle it

2007-04-17T10:22:00.000-04:00

It's official. I can't handle this site any more. I'll let you know where I'm moving too..

These made me laugh. Very Surly ;)

2007-01-30T09:40:00.000-05:00

George Carlin's New Rules for 2007

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days -- mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "Lucky bastards."

New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards,you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay,we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink.You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh, wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear "27 months." "He's two" will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, "Do you want fries with that?"

The cat

2006-12-18T11:29:00.000-05:00

I came home the other day, a bit out of sorts. I'd been having regularity problems, and all the way home there had been some, err, pressure.

When I got in I was immediately confronted by Teacher. She had that look on her face that women have. In my experience it's the face that they've done "something". There dying to tell you what it is, but at the same time there worried what your reaction is going to be. If you've been in a relationship for any length of time, you surely know that you don't want to deal with a situation like this while your touching cloth.

I tried to ignore her and rushed into the bathroom.

"So how was your day?", I hear from outside the door.

Now I really start to get worried about what she's hiding. The house is still standing. There's no smell of smoke. Her car looks like it's in one piece. What has she done?

"It was ok", I say straining. "Do you need to get in here or something?"

"I bought you something today", she says

Oh here we go, "What is it?"

"Err, lots of loving"

"Oh that again, thanks."

"Could you hurry up?"

I sigh, it's been days. What's a boy to do? I finish up and she's right outside the door. The look is even more pronounced now.

Oh crap

I start to go upstairs, only to find that she's right behind me, literally one step below me.

When we get upstairs it's dark already and she rushes ahead of me to turn the light on. This in itself is unusual. Then as she shushes me. As you can imagine I'm rather puzzled now, that is until she points to the bed.

Now I didn't make the bed that morning so I didn't see the small lump of fur that was burrowed into the covers.

"What's that?!", I asked incredulously

She's now grinning like a mad women

"Oh, that's the cat."

My mouth dropped open, at this point

"I went over to my friends house and she was getting rid of it so I said that we'd take it in"

"What the hell are we going to do when we go to Britain", I said. Desperate not to bond with the bloody thing. "Hang on you don't like cats! You hate them!"

"Yeah, but they were going to have it put down. What could I do?"

I started getting changed, I had my back turned, mainly so I didn't have to look at it.

"I can take it back if you want. Or I could just though it out"

My head whipped round at that. There was a strange note to her voice, as I turned she reached down and to my horror, through the cat down the room.

I realised almost instantly that there was something wrong with the "cat". It was still curled up. It was flying through the air like a frizzby. Very un-cat like in fact.

The only conclusion that I could come to in those few seconds before her laughter sank in was that she had brought home a stuffed cat. I was appalled.

In the twenty seconds that had passed she was on the floor with laughter, literally rolling around screaming with laughter. I went looking for the "cat".

Turns out that it was a piece of plastic shaped like a huge plastic dog turd. The covered in fur.

"So what did you think?", she asked me, when she could talk again

"The first thing that went through my head was, "but I wanted a dog!""

OD'ed on the family, thanks. Speak to you in another three months..

2006-12-13T15:43:00.000-05:00

Ok, after literally months of whining about none of my family wanting to speak to me. It got to the point that I thought I was being ostracized!

Now it wasn't the kids, an' them. No, it was ma dad and my brothers! The bar-stewards! Not a peep, I sent em mails. I tried calling, all to no avail.

Yesterday, I thought to myself, "I'll give the old bastard another go". Meaning my dad of course. I even managed to remember to get the call in early so that he wouldn't have slipped into his afternoon, err, "entertaining", lets call it.

So he was in, in bed and "reading" (actually taking a power nap), so he was rather spritely. Turns out my Granny was there as well, so it was a tad too much family time. He was good enough to look at prices for flights to Spain so me and Teacher can come and visit.

Teachers going to start bouncing off the walls soon. Probably as soon as the tickets are in our possession. Ahh well.

Doctors tomorrow. They want to check on the sleep apnia. Must say I've never felt better, I don't think I've been this productive in years! Now if only there was actually something to do!

Oh yes, that reminds me.. Must mail my boss and ask him where he would send me if he had the choice to move me..

Fair warning

2006-12-08T13:32:00.000-05:00

If you want a Christmas laugh have a look at this, but be warned that I've had it stuck in my head for a week now. It's worse than "Leeeerrroy Jenkins! Yahh!"

http://americanangst.com/dingfries.html

So Krave, why don't you game online anymore?

2006-12-06T11:26:00.000-05:00

I had a close encounter last night. I was waiting for stuff to finish, so I had a couple of minutes to spare.

"Lets start up an online game!" I said to myself.

Then it hit me why I don't do so well online gaming and why I may have to stick to the single player stuff. I'm afraid that I may be a Leroy.

"What the hell is a Leroy?"

If you have ever, and I mean ever been in an online group.. Never mind, check out this video for a perfect example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAv38bwOoR8

I don't want to be a Leroy!

AS promised..

2006-12-06T09:15:00.000-05:00

Slickdeals

Bring on the Rebates!

2006-12-05T18:33:00.000-05:00

What can ya say when it takes a total of three hours to get to and from work? That the Gods that it only happens once a year, not once a week like it used too!

I'm home now, alone, cos she's over at her sisters helping her folks with the kids. I'm deperatly trying to tell myself not to buy anything else. Bloody "deals"! It's the rebates, I tell ya!

Don't know what I mean? I'll post my new favorate site tomorrow, I only just added it. Damn! I was hoping to find something interesting, while I'm alone.

Whoo-hoo! So happy with cable!

2006-12-02T20:35:00.000-05:00

Ho-Ho-Ho

2006-11-30T16:42:00.000-05:00

It must be Christmas already. There I was this morning stark necked shaving off my two day stubble. My family are probably shaking there heads at this, since when I left Scotland I couldn't grow any facial. Alright I could. I had a twelve year old's 'tache when I was 20, never was hairy. Funny how that changed when I hit 32! Must have been all the rough living!

Anyway there I was necked as I said, shaving with my five year old electric razor. Well it wasn't exactly shaving it was more like electric plucking. For a while now the poor old bastard hasn't been able to keep a charge, so after been on the road and not being plugged in for two days, it was buggered.

That's how Teacher found me. Cursing the piece of shit as it stalled again, with a clump of my face in it's tiny blunt teeth. Having had enough I pulled the bastard thing apart thinking that may be if I cleaned out the rotating bits perhaps it might run a bit more smoothly.

Once it was apart, small pieces promptly snapped off. I watched in resigned horror as they slowly slid down the plug hole.

That's when Santa appeared with a shiny new replacement! I tried to refuse, I even had a shower. refusing to look at my present before the big day. I knew all along that I didn't have a choice, she already had the scissors out and was cutting into the plastic bubble that it was wrapped in.

"it needs to charge", I said grudgingly

She proceeded to make a liar out of me by pressing the power button.

Half an hour later with a nice clean face the old piece of shit was simply a bitter memory.

Ho-ho! It doesn't take half an hour shave! What were you doing, then.. It does if she helps you. :)

Get him in a bloody cube!

2006-11-29T22:25:00.000-05:00

I tried to write earlier, what with being at work till midnight and then this morning trying to convince the customer that they can in fact treat there IT guy like anyone else. They don't have to treat him with kid gloves in fact it's only adding to the probems!

For Christ sake! He's living in an office behind a locked and bolted door that only three other people can access and I'm in a differant state! He doesn't have the keys to a nucular weapon silo! Hell he was off for a couple of weeks and after all the eww'ing and ahh'ing about "oh what happens if this happens?". "What'll you do if that happens?". "We have to have someone on site"

Bollocks I said, he came back to no tickets and I was looking afer his "really busy" queue by myself as well as my own shit. So don't tell me it will all fall apart if he's not there. No one is indespensible and if they are you have a serious problem with your orginization!

Anyway it was a fifteen hour day yesterday and I was hoping that i could post the view of the friuts of my labours. I know that sentence didn't work but I really wanted to get that "fruit of my labours" bit in. Sounds a lot like "low hanging friut". OK maybe not now that I see it writen down. In fact the only thing it has in common is the word fruit.

Ahh well night all. I'm going back to my Yuengling :)

On the road again.

2006-11-28T15:37:00.000-05:00

Ahoy there me hearties!

Today we are broadcasting from the nether regions outside Chicago, the weather is a balmy 62 degrees outside, but I'm in a computer room with no windows. Of course as with any computer room, if you've never been in one, it's about 50 degrees or so and there is a constraint cold breeze blowing around my gusset.

No to worry though, I have my thermals on (two pairs of undies) and we are ready to go. Oh.

The outage isn't scheduled for another three hours and I didn't bring the gaming PC! What the hell was I thinking?! I didn't have to wake up at 5:45 this morning at all! I could have slept in till three then left for the Airport! Damn.

Ah well, perhaps I'll go take a nap in the car. After all the nice folks from Hertz gave me a monstrous SUV for the duration of the trip! Why not use all that space that isn't being used by luggage or friends and family and sleep!

Sounds like a plan. Someone wake me 17:30!

Now I know it's my fault

2006-11-27T13:30:00.000-05:00

I know.

"Holy shit Krave! Where the hell have you been?! It's been months! You can't tell us that you went without the Internet for this long. Nor can you tell us that you were traveling and couldn't blog!"

Bugger, seems I'm too honest. Ahh well. I don't know why I stopped. I think I got tired of whining every day. It was bad enough hearing it in my head without having to type it out as well.

OK enough of that, instead, why am I back all of a sudden? I don't know if I am back, but I realized that for a lot of my friends and family this is the most convenient way for them to see what I've been up to. And coincidently to confirm that I'm still alive and kickin' :)

Soo, what's been going on..

Bought Teacher a Macbook, yes the world trembled and I fell to my knees gasping, but I got a great repayment rate and she'll be using Mac's at school next year, so what the hell. There's also the nice perks like for $100 she can go in once a week and get training for an hour for a year. Oh and did I mention, "I can't help you darlin', you'd better call the Service Desk" *grin*

Surly's MIA or should I say MINW2 - Missing in Never Winter Nights 2 - he should be making an appearance again soon. Probably in the early New Year when he's finished building and needs beta testers :) Miss ya mate ;)

Oh. Also on a techy note, got myself hooked up with a cable modem, no more 88k downloads for me! Ha! Now it's consistently 600k, thank you very much!

I think I need to start a my space page, everyone else appears to be on there now. Aye by everyone I mean all the people that Teacher knows are on there, so surely there will be strange people out of my murky past - Teacher knows all about my murky past, I think - Ahh perhaps that's not such a good idea then :)

Basically I'm happy and stable. The sleep apnia machine is working wonders most of the time. Still having trouble every now and then adjusting all the straps so it fits properly. You don't have any idea what I'm talkin' about? Perhaps this will help;

http://bipappro.respironics.com/

I'll have Teacher take a picture of the headset, since she enjoys taunting me with, "I am your father Luke" most nights as I'm trying to go to sleep.. Ahh well so is the price of love I suppose.

Till next time.

With nothing else to do I scribbled here.

2006-09-19T14:26:00.000-04:00

There I was. Just sittin' here waiting for something to happen. When I realised that I hadn't spoken about the EVENT!

I can hear you now.. "Event? Or EVENT? Why is it in capitals? Oh crap here he goes. He's bored again. Do you think he's sleeping properly again?"

Well smart ass, it's Capitalised because it's one of those things that I've been waiting for, for a very long time. And no I'm still not sleeping right, the bloody receptionist for the doctor called and told me they had lost my results. Bastards.

Anyway, I.. I mean We, went to the drive-in on Saturday night. What a time! What fun! How freakin' cool is it to sit in your own car, with all the luxuries of course, stuffin' your face and guzzling drinks and abusing the movie without having to worry about other people!

Unfortunately we saw Arty Lang's beer league - horrible boys and girls horrible - here's the best bit about the drive-in though. Even though the movie was horrible you can still entertain yourself. Your not stuck there! You can wander about! It's a double feature after all! They next one is bound to be better than this piece of shite!

We went and looked at the "concessions stand". Did I mention that they run commercials from the 20's, 30's and 40's? Along with all the hissing and popping on the soundtrack. Advertising items that no longer exist. That probably aren't even legal anymore!

Loads of exclamation points. And why not, my mate just gave me a new mother board and chip so I get to rip shit apart tonight and hopefully it will all work when I get it back together again!

Oh what was the other movie?

Mother fuckin' Snakes on a Mother Fuckin' plane. Great movie, more than made up for the other pap. Ummm Papps :)

Yawn Where's my freaking ventilator?!

2006-09-14T14:37:00.000-04:00

Funny. I have a need to write. Maybe it's because Teacher is doing English papers, which she won't let me edit anymore because I "rewrote the whole thing and there's nothing of me in it any more". Whatever! I read well :)

Or perhaps it's because it's now day 6 since my first complete sleep experience in my memory and I want it again. I go home every night and I stare longingly at the tube that should be connected to my head, but isn't cos I haven't been officially diagnosed yet. *sigh* So I sit here at work with my eyelids drooping and unable to concentrate on anything. Ah it sucks, I wanna be all lively and awake like I was last Friday! *grr*

Eldest's birthday at the end of the month. How strange is it that I call her and ask her what she want's and she says, "Nuthin' Dad. You gave me money to go to London, mind."

Bloody hell, the bastards have not only turned off the network ports for AOL but MSN as well! How am I supposed to talk to my friends now?! What am I supposed to do all day now that I can't find random people to harass?! I could comb my eyebrows I suppose, but I'm going to get a haircut tonight so I can shave em. People will be so distracted by my lack of hair that they won't notice that I only have a suggestion of eyebrows.

Oh your saved. There's a ticket to relieve me of my boredom..

The week that was

2006-09-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

While I'm waiting for this bloody DVD to finish burning and I'm on hold with Dell to get that board replaced, I thought I'd do a quick update.

The week that was..

Last week was rather hectic. OK it was only four working days but the blinding hangover from the Sunday lunchtime session sort of extended it. It was worth while though. Need to push the boat out a bit :)

So Monday - Labor day - was spent in a chair looking after teacher when she made the small forays into conciseness. Poor girl can't function till 5pm if she ties one on properly. She's still not as bad as Noo the baby brother who now takes days to recover! *grin*

Tuesday - Don't really remember except that it couldn't have been good. Oh I know they approved my refinance application so it was loads of scanning and signing. Oh that's right! We went to see the amazing "Radio Birdman" touring the US for the first time. Great show, good warmup band as well. The place was mobbed as well! Never see it that busy in the four times I've been to that venue. (Did I sound like I get out to concerts a lot? That's what I was going for, not the "I stay at home in front of a PC a lot and like to keep in touch with myself.")

Wednesday - No Caffeine and no sleep. Day was sort of a strange blur. Panicking because of the appointment to see if I have a sleep disorder on Thursday, bit of blur, more panicking.

Thursday - Hadn't had any caffeine or sugar for 12 hours when I got to work. Huge bags under my eyes. Tired as shit, did realise how very much I depended on stimulants to get through the day. My appointment wasn't until 8pm. I was a freakin' wreck. I started trying to nod off at bloody 2pm. Not quite sure how I made it through the day but I did. Later at the hotel where they were going to wire me up they were running behind. The tech didn't arrive till 9, thankfully they let us into our rooms so that we could at least get ready. My tech stuck her head in about 9:45 and asked if I minded if she setup the guy next door since he went to bed at ten normally. Having spent some time with the gentleman in question I read that as; "Please let me do him first because he's an obnoxious CEO type of personality". Come 11pm I'm under the covers - the room was freezing - fading in out of consciousness when she comes in to hook me up. Turns out that it's a good idea to do some research before you do stuff like this. Saves embarrassment later. She sticks little electrodes all over me and plugs em into a box. All the while she's trying to keep me talking. Probably a good job she did cos I was having trouble staying awake. Finally I get to go to bed. Tubes up my nose, bands around my chest and abdomen, oh and electrodes in strange places. I swear to minutes after she turned out my lights I was asleep. Three short hours later she's waking me up to say that I had stopped breathing and here put this on. Next thing I know I've been moved to the middle of the bed, I have a headset on with nose plugs like a Freeman still suit and I'm fading out again. The rest of the night was uneventfully except about 6am, when they started messing with the pressure setting on the box which did some strange stuff.

Friday - I felt amazing. I was energised. I was AWAKE! I still have a very vivid memory of myself waking up on Thursday night after they stuck the pump on me, my eyes popping open and my mouth hanging open. Unable to breath and starting to panic. All of a sudden the pump kicked in and it forced air in and suddenly my mouth closed and I faded out again. Bliss! They rest of the day was spent in a frenzy of activity. I got all that stupid stuff done. The stuff that i'd been putting off. I had so much energy, even though I couldn't have had more than 5 hours sleep. I realise that I had actually had sleep though.

Since then of course I now know what it's like to actually have sleep at night it's sucking ass. I realise that I'm exhausted. Ahh well hopefully I'll get my own pump soon :)

From the week that was, this is Krave signing out.

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2006-09-11T10:40:00.000-04:00

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Slipping into new reality

2006-08-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

It feels so good to come out of between game frustration. Those of you that may or may not admit to game over enjoyment. Some of the more syncical of you are probably using words like addiction.. Fare enough. All I'm saying is that sometimes you play something for a while and the polish wares off. For me, it's like reading a book that you don't care about. My mind starts casting around for something else to do and I become frustrated and annoyed. Rather than just putting the bastard thing away I'll keep plodding along with it..

Sufficed to say that I found a new dalliance. And suddenly all is right with the world again. It's so nice to go home and kick the crap out of something and to discover new things. Perhaps I'm just bored in my own head. Perhaps I should try clening up my mind.. You know like they did in.. Shit what's that Stephen King book, the one with the ailens and Lawrence Fishburn is the mad general in the movie version.. Shit. Hang on searching..

Freakin' 'Dream Catcher' and it was Morgan Freeman.. Not the "Snakes on a plane", guy.

Shit now I don't rember what's going on and I have to go to the doctors. For my alledged snoring problems. Back later..

Something to do while training

2006-08-27T19:48:00.000-04:00

So there I am looking for something to do for the fifty two minutes until I can use my new toys in the video game, thought I'd drop a line about the happenings.

Was a busy week, seems everyone came back from vaction at the same time. So it was a lovely week of chaos! I love it when everything appears to be falling apart, then I bring it all together :)

Did I mention that one of my sites dies as well? A massive thunder storm came through and wiped out all the network stuff. Just when some monster big wigs were visiting of course. Fortunately the local guy had bits on site so had it back up in a couple of hours :)

Then I was building machines and running around.

Not been sleeping well.

I'm trying to get a fixed rate mortgage, and had told my guy that I would leave the home loan as it is. After telling him this and after buggering him around for a while I had a sleepless night on Thursday and changed my mind. Better to have one large payment than two small ones, also with the potentional tax breaks. Not having the stones to call him, I mailed my renewed request and now wait with baited breath.

Horribly soar after yesterdays, "Ratboy Open". Not only did I do 18 holes but also did a bucket of balls at the range before hand. Turned out to be a good day, used more of my shots than normal, so I was rather chuffed. Probably shouldn't have drunk as many beers as I did so early. Helped in the early stages but buy the turn I was dying, it was 90 degrees, and 70 percent humidity. Not the best weather to be out on the course, but ahh well. It was for charity!

What is it about the ending of summer?

2006-08-23T11:26:00.000-04:00

Two things always seem to happen to me that I seem to forget about until it happens again..

The first is that I always seem to be skint at the beginning of August, this state seems to continue (basically living check to check) for the rest of the year, usually through to February when the taxes come in. Then it's flush-a-roony until August again!

I know. I just realised it as well. I need to get a second job, or perhaps do something drastic like budgeting.. Humm there's a thought now. How very interesting. I must look into this shocking concept.

On this same point I'm fuckin' miserable at the moment. I find myself in bungee pay. That's the place where you've committed to stuff that you could afford in the winter, but as the year stretches out. It's like you jumped off a bridge with a bungee cord on and as you get to summer it reaches it's maximum stretch. At this point I don't know if I'm going to hit the rocks below or if I measured it correctly and it will all start contracting back on itself giving me extra cash..

Mostly because of this rather bazaar phenomenon I'm a pain in the ass to be around, ask Teacher, she'll tell ya.

Blah.. Enough of this shit. I seem to remember that I went through this miserable time a while ago and found a way through it with some kind of new age method. I know I wrote about, just got to try and find it, again.

Definately don't need to get my drink on. I think I may have broken something last Saturday, not really sure since I only remember the first three beers and the first couple of shots then it's a blank. Woke up at home but in the wrong bed. Woke up at 2pm, then promptly had to have a nap to take the edge off. *sigh*

Well that was depressing

2006-08-17T13:30:00.000-04:00

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60%

Lust: 40%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Pride: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

How Sinful Are You?

Time was that it would have been a certainty that I would be going to hell. What with the deborchery and what not. Now it seems I've calmed in a more mature and reasonable individual.

Thank God that I'll still be able to keep in touch with myself!

Krave on the High Sea - or two foot deep river - whatever! I could still have drowned!

2006-08-16T16:15:00.000-04:00

I swear I had something cool to write about this morning, but since then I've realised that I'm worn out. Even the invite to the bar that I just recieved for a "safety meeting" at 4:30 didn't really appeal.

Ahh well. Oh.. Picture of the day! That's what it was here:

Ahh yes me harties! This just about sums up the day conoeing. Whar you don't see in this exemplary shot is Teacher driving me in closer so that the other three boats could use there paddles on me. Only on me of course, cos she's a girl and that wouldn't be nice.

HA!

Not too shabby

2006-08-15T16:28:00.000-04:00

I must say that it's been quite a good day all in all. Started off slower en shit but sped up just before lunch. Gotta love it when toys arrive with your name on em! *grin*

Nothing that exciting mind, just a couple of plugins for Firefox and this rather niffty tool I'm using to post this entry. I'll try it for a couple of goes and if it's any good I'll pass it on. So far so good though! *grin*

Also just found out that the boss is going to be out of the office again. What's up with that! I only find out these days becasue I mail him and his out of office comes back saying to contact me, if it's urgent!

Ah well at least it makes life interesting. I need that, I'm coming to realise.

Missing Teacher as well. She txt'd me this morning with "I need food and sprite". Code for I have a horrible hangover and there making me get up before 5pm! Made me smile ;)

Also final preperations are being made for this years Rat Boy Open. A huge charity piss-up with golf carts. Err I mean, a wonderful charity golf outing.

Can't wait..

Summer blues..

2006-08-14T10:56:00.000-04:00

Funny init. When your basically happy all the time, you start looking for stuff to be unhappy about. Or that’s the way it seems to me sometimes.

Teacher left for her conference thingy on Sunday morning. Saturday night I couldn’t sleep. Again. This time though I came to the sudden realization that I’m being unfair to Teacher. There I am being a miserable bastard all the time. She drags me out of the house sometimes literally kicking and screaming – yes like a two year old – then I start whining all over the place.

Like the faire we went to on Saturday for example. Whining and crying all the way there. I park the car and I’m like a little kid! I was all excited and stuff. We had a great time! What the hell is wrong with me?!

So back to Sunday morning. I’m lying in bed wondering why I’m doin’ this stupid stuff. I can’t figure it out. It’s like I’m worried about leaving the house, but I want to escape the house at the same time. Does that make any kind of sense? How about this.

My addictions have me so subverted that even when I don’t even enjoy the video game any more I still have to sit there in front of the video alter. Of course the voice in my head is screaming at me that it’s a perfect day to be outside fiddling with the widows or mowing the lawn or some such. Which simply adds to my frustration. Add poor Teacher to the mix, who simply wants to do something. Anything! “lets just get out of the freakin’ house!”. *sigh*

Oh I’m also at that strange point of stopping smoking where you start missing the ten minutes of happiness every hour. Thankfully I have strong memories of the other side as well. Those times in the middle of winter when your hacking your lungs out, ahh yes must keep those to the front of the line.

Anyway. Bottom line is that I have to let some of this stupid shit go! Soon enough it’s going to be minus 20 below and we won’t want to go out and I’ll have all the game time I can take stand. So get your lazy ass out from behind that amazing desk setup, I’ll post a picture so you can appreciate what I’m talking about.

Have I lost the plot do ya think?

2006-08-10T15:49:00.000-04:00

Heard or at least half heard something this morning that surprised me.

No. Not the warbling of a African Hoopoe nor the delicate but under appreciated mating call of the Pacific Tree Frog. No. What I heard from my bed side clock radio this morning was this.

If you were to drink one can of soda, Coke for example every day for a year and you didn’t exercise (I presumed that bit – what do you want from me? I was asleep!) you would put on about 30lbs in weight.

“Well that’s interesting”, my sleep induced mind thought. Then.

“Good job I don’t drink that much pop”

“Except at lunch time”

“Because it’s not in a can doesn’t mean it’s better for you”

“Holy crap! I drink heaps of fizzy drinks every day! Gallons of it in fact!”

“Is that why I’ve become a fat bastard? Makes more sense than food since I’ve cut down on my intake to now effect. Especially when I’m always drinking pop with lunch and you have to drink that massive mega gulp when you upgrade your French fries..”

“The African Hoopoe is pretty”

And where the hell have you been young man?!

2006-08-08T15:15:00.000-04:00

I’ve been away again. I know.

It’s all this travel. I’m still recovering!

Updates.

My Dad and his girly arrived had a great time and made it back home OK. What a great time that was, now I’m home sick to see the kids. Ah well.

Eldest got her exam results back and she passed all but one of her exams. I’m a very proud dad, let me tell ya! Oh and when I ask what she wanted for her birthday next month , you know what she said? No? She tells me “dad, you already gave me my birthday money for the trip to London.” What a kid! *grin*

Addicted to another bloody video game. Bollocks! I don’t want to be! I want to sleep! Nope, must just have a look at this part of the map where I haven’t been yet. Oh look somewhere to new kill stuff. Oh look new weapons. Oh now I can go over here and enchant this long sword with paralyze 10 seconds so that I can get my long sword skill up and really have to worry about dying that much. Yeah. Sad I know.

Noow called. That’s what I decided to call my baby brother. His wife to be asked if it was true that I would be “celebrating” my 40^th next year. Bloody hell I had only called to find out about the dates for the wedding. Still don’t know if he told ma dad. Came as a bit of a shock to realise that my 40^th was looming large. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy where I am and what I’ve become. Just seems odd to be 40. So Noow’s wedding is at the end of April at Glen Eagles. In Scotland. I may even kilt it up.. Ha!

The relaxing weekend after coming back from training. (I’m the only one of my peers that passed the certification test! *snicker*) Never happened. Ended up going canoeing on Saturday. A day on this really slow moving river with the people from work. Would have been boring if it hadn’t been for the water guns that could hurl water 30 feet! Oh and even then it would have been shitty if Teacher hadn’t been in the back of boat egging me on when no-one could hear her. All I could here while everyone’s shooting me is cackling from that back of the boat as she maneuvers me into the line of fire! *grin* Fun though.

Feeling like a fat bastard. I can’t believe how much we had to eat while my dad was here! Holy shit every night it was a three course bugger! No more of that. Perhaps I’ll go on his legendry diet. On second thoughts the idea of eating nothing but egg for a couple of weeks doesn’t sound that appealing. Perhaps I’ll just *cough* exercise *cough*

That’s about all for now. I will find time to write more.

Vacation snippets

2006-07-27T15:09:00.000-04:00

It’s actually nice to be back at work. Although my Dad informed me that I would never be up before him again, I had showered and dressed and was walking out the door this morning and he was still snoring! Ha! Oh hang on I forgot about the half bottle of bloody mary mix that he had last night. Does that mean I was cheating?

To sum up the vacation.

Lots and lots of driving. Loads and loads of farting. Every time you expunged type someone else would have a sympathy one. All very strange. Another reason to be happily back to work. At least now I know it’s only mine! *grin*

It was really nice spending time away from electronics, even if it took me a while to wean myself off of it. (I had to put that piece in, incase Teacher wrote about restraining me.) The next time though, it’s just got to be the pair of us. My dad drives like a bloody lunatic. Of course he’s used to push-bikes and driving cars in southern Europe where they can’t drive anyway but still! *shudder* It was almost as bad as the psychopathic taxi driver in San Francisco! He was a bloody nut job! As much fun as it looks in the movies, howling down the hills of San Fran so fast that the wheels leave the ground and your stomach feels like your on a roller coaster, it isn’t.

The boat ride though was awesome. Did the whole tour thing very cool. Loads of photo’s which I’ll probably put somewhere for ya’s to take a look at. It’s really going to be a bitch to label em all though..

Basically. I’m back all rested – thank God I took yesterday off as well – and I’m now mostly caught up.

Oh. As a monstrous gift from the Gods, the nutjob at the other site. The one that’s trying to break it, remember? Well he’s leaving the company! Ahh, karma. Or perhaps it’s just attrition. *grin*

I’m off now to read Teachers entries. She was typing like a mad thing. I wonder what she was sayin’ about me?

Who fuckin' farted?! Again! (offline in the car)

2006-07-22T20:21:00.000-04:00

"Woot! Krave's back!"

"Where have you been?!", I hear you askin'.

Well it's been a tad busy since ma Dad got into town. What with trying to gorge myself, with all the strange and wonderous food that's been running around. Teacher keeps having these swaray's. She call's em "cook outs" but what they really are, are raging food fests! I swear I've gained 10 pounds since the start of summer. *sigh* Ahh well. I didn't have to eat all of that food now did I?

So here I am, in the bus, on the way to Vagas from San Fransico. Currently it's 116 degrees outside, but a lovely - if slightly chilly - 70 in the back. I had enough of the book and you can only see so much desert before it all starts looking the same.

So me and Teacher. My dad and his other half are in this massive van travelling what seems like and odesy across the south east of america.

Now that I'm writing, there isn't that much to write about. I've had a couple of spaz attacks, mainly because of not being used to being in close proximity to other people for long periods of time. Oh - smell that? - that's someone dropping silent but deadlies. Thanks to the air conditoining, it wafts around enough so that you can't quite figure out where it's coming from. Worse, at least in my opinion. It keeps coming back. You are quitely gagging for a couple of minutes. Just getting used to it when it dissapates. Only to return again a couple of minutes later! Or perhaps they have a problem. A slow leak. Well all I can say is that I hope that they freakin' shat themselves! Ha! That'd show em!

Oh then theres the sigh. Something N doesn't like, or if she's disapointed, there's a huge sigh, or perhaps two a row if it's really bad.

"90 miles more?", I hear next to me. Punctuated by the obligatory sigh..

"$26 dollars for a round! That's terrible that is!", (well it was actually) followed by the sigh.

Actually, it's starting to get funny now that I know where there coming from and what they are for.

Better pop off now, where actually stopping for a minute..

Or maybe not. It's closed for repairs..

Watch Krave Spaz

2006-07-11T11:16:00.000-04:00

Bloody hell!

I can’t keep everything straight.  I keep letting things slip through the cracks.  Ever have one of them – I was gonna say days but this has now been weeks!  When you are juggling so many items that some of them just get away from ya?  Yeah well I’m havin’ one of them.

Every time I look round somethin’ else pops up.  Not big things yet. I haven’t forgotten to pay the mortgage for example, but I did forget to update the computer ownership list at work which caused a minor uproar when a machine which showed as available actually wasn’t and the machine in question was a tad high scale for the person that received it.  He may have been a favorite of that bastard Krave!  You know how he is!

I realised that it was getting out of contol when I’m listening to “The Pavements” – “Best friends arms”.  Horrible.  So horrible in fact that I completely lost the thread of what the hell I was doing.  Like I said so much stuff going on at the moment and no where to turn.

Then this comes in from Quagmire, http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,192041,00.html.  It’s a news story about a guy who swapped a paperclip for a house, not in one go.  Like I was thinking, but a paper clip for this, then that for something else.  So on and so forth till he got himself a house.  What the hell is that?!

See I should be working!   I have heaps to do, suddenly.  “Suddenly?”, I hear you say.

Well yeah.  It’s like this..

Me Dad is coming over, I almost said into town but he lives in Spain, not Georgia.  At the same time Teacher is finishing the movin’ in process.  Not that much of a problem, just a  lot of stuff to do to get everything ready.  OhmyGod there’s another Pavement song.  Yep they suck.  Sorry I have a chunk of Teachers music collection on my PC – I’m trying to broaden my music appreciation – so I listen to it on random then demote anything I don’t like.  That was I should eventually only have stuff that I like.  Ugh-huh..

Wow – see what I mean?!  I’m all over the freakin’ place!

Anyway when my Dad comes over he’s doing the three or four state tour, starting in San Francisco and ending up in Phoenix Arizona, via Vegas.   (I spelt every one of them wrong.  Thank you spell checker.)  All by car.  All in 7 days.  I was going to say – “on ya own big man!  Knock ya self out!”.  That sounds harsh I know but I’ve done it before (Ahh the foo-fighters, much better) and he snores like a freakin’ yeti.  You have know idea.  Ok.  Teacher might.
So I was going to let him go by himself.  I was going to suggest that Teacher and I go up to Niagara with him when he got back.  Unfortunately work had different plans and  they scheduled training, out of town of course, for the last three days that he is here.  That’s so freakin’ rude (I like Radio Birdman as well) that I decided.  What the hell.

“Teacher”, I said “find us some flights darlin’!  Where gonna feakin’ well go with em!  Yes we are!”
“Really?!”, She said, her eye’s all agow.  “I’ve never been to California!  Or Arizona.  Or..”

The problem is that we are leaving next week.  It hasn’t quite settled in.  Shit the fact that my Dad is going to be staying with me hasn’t settled in!  Wow, my eyes are prickling.

“Don’t you know that you are a shooting star!” oops started singing out loud them..

I think I’m a bit more focused for getting that out.  Thanks for listening.

Oh dear God. I've died and gone to PC heaven!

2006-07-07T11:02:00.000-04:00

Sorry.

What with this that and the other, I haven’t been on.  Last night’s adventures however need to be spoken of.

You may remember a while back that I suggested – perhaps rather strongly, perhaps with a touch of sarcasm – that Surly was a sad bastard because he has three PC’s running at any one time.

Well..

I now have five of the buggers!  Mwhahhahhaha! Awesome!

The story?

Well Teacher as ya know is moving in – partly why I haven’t been writing, too bloody tired from moving stuff in or round or over!  *grin*  Anyway.  I decided last night that we had to get the desk out of the spare room.  I had meant to set it up as the office when I first moved in.  After I had this monstrous desk in there I realised that it would never work because I couldn’t put any entertainment in there as well.  The desk was simply that freakin’ large.
After I finished putting up the blinds – oh I got new windows put on Wednesday.  Really bad idea by the way, don’t have major work done on the house the day after a holiday.  Especially if you are hosting a cookout.  It’s above 80 degrees and you are expected to entertain.  You will end up drinking beer.  Of course the more you drink, the easier it is to justify having the next one!

Sorry I digress.  After finishing with the blinds,  holy crap my arms were hurting.  I woke up Teacher – she had a rough night, what with me snoring (“I don’t snore!”) and not having any blinds up in the windows she didn’t sleep well the night before.  I mentioned that we should simply dismantle the desk and throw it in the garage until Surly could come round with a truck to pick it up.  Oh.  Yeah.  I had told Surly that he could have the desk if he could get it up his stairs.  I really didn’t want another 36” tv story!

When she finally woke up – for a while there she didn’t know who she was, let alone where or what time it was – she jumped on the idea with gusto.

An hour later and we were putting the tiny pieces of desk back together – not as you might think in the garage – but in the basement.  “Lets see what it looks like”, she said little realizing at the time what a monster she had unleashed.  After all, once it was rebuilt I had to set up all the stuff that I had been squeezing onto the two foot wide credenza!

Went to bed at eleven in a bit of a fog, what with doing physical exercise and all, dropped right off.

Let me tell ya, when I went down to the basement this morning to pick up my work PC, I groaned with pleasure at the sight and almost made a mess in my pants.  That’s how sexy it looks!

Sorry Teacher but your right.  There is no way that your going to get me out from behind there now.  I am the king of all I survey!  Ha!

Oh did I mention that I have a unimpeded view of the tv!  *shudder*

Lessons leaned. I hope.

2006-06-26T11:51:00.000-04:00

How is it that I can go from being completely out of my mind with stress to completely content in the space of a couple of hours?

Of course I have a reason for asking the question.  It seems that I may be a tad unstable.  Or maybe I have other shit going on in my head that I have no idea about.  Hum.

So Friday I not only talked to my Mum, but also my Dad.  I tried for the little brother but no luck and no idea where the middle one was.. Ah well.

Watched King Kong (2005), it has to be one of the strangest movies that I’ve ever seen!  Most of it your sitting there going, “oh please God let this end!” then something happens and your into it again, then it seems way to long again.  So on and so forth!  Oh, it still wasn’t as bad a Chipotly – err, maybe that’s not what it was called.  Hang on.  Ahh after much searching it’s Capote.  What a depressing load of crap.

-edit:  The middle brother called from Tunisia on Saturday, which was rather cool.  He was spazzing cos the wife and kids were coming out to visit so he had to get all his work up to day.  It was really nice talking to him.

Anyway where was I oh yes.  So Saturday Surly came out of hiding with a vengeance, armed with his cheesy dip and a the chronicles of  Narnia, we had a cook out.  Actually it could have been called a barbeque since it actually involved doing more than turning it on and flipping burgers.  Well that’s what it looked like from my spectators position.  A couple of Teachers friends came over as well and they had the full Monty going on.  Steaks and Prawns and corn on the cob.. Ahh it’s so nice watching a master, he hustled the lot up in no time, all of it was cooked properly.  By which I mean that there were no charcoal brickets.  Very nice.

Now we may have got a bit out of control as darkness fell.  The neighbors had a broken dresser on the tree lawn.  After a quick chat to confirm that it was indeed trash and not, as some of the guests were thinking, a donation.  We set about smashing it to crap and gone with a 12lb sledgehammer.  The resultant shards were used to christen the fire pit.  How very nice.  Fire, full belly and beer.

As you can image Sunday dawned a tad lumpy.  It seems that I may have indulged myself a bit too much in both beer and lactose based products.  The whole day was spent with the unpleasant feeling that everything was going to fall out at any moment.  Even though things started out slowly, Teacher was up and moving soon after we got up and she set about cleaning.

Cleaning seemed like a great idea, I really must have been hung over in retrospect.  So I jumped in as well.  Did all the dishes from the “dinner party”. While she was doing the bathroom.  All was going along nicely, when.  Well let me put it this way.  You know you sometimes have them jobs that you’ve been putting off, but.. Alright no excuses.

The caulk in the bath was all buggered and I’d been putting off redoing it for months.  Mainly because I didn’t know how to do it.

So Teacher is in the bathroom when all I hear is “Oh.”.  You know the OH that I mean.

Sure enough she was enthusiastically cleaning the bath and the caulk popped out.  She’s looking at me all worried.  I tell her not to worry about it and start pulling all the rest of it out.  I cleaned it all up and put some new caulk in – I told ya I’d been putting it off – it actually came out really well.  I have to do it again of course, or at least I think I’ll have to because there was water behind some of it.

Then I decided in a fit of madness to clean the fish, the poor buggers were almost out of water.  So did them as well, all was right with the world.  I thought I’d done really well.  Shit I’d completed jobs that I’d been putting off for months, right!  Now I could sit downstairs, watch tv and nap for the rest of the day.

I had neglected to take into account that I had promised to help Teacher take stuff to her sisters jumble sale (garage sale).  This is where I started to loose it.  I’ll make it up to her I promise.

Lets just say that I was a grumpy miserable, hot, sweaty, smelly, piece of shite.  Of course I couldn’t have a shower – the caulk was still wet, a little fore thought would have been nice.

Four hours of pain and misery for all concerned, later.  I had a shower, shit and a shave.  Oh and had something to eat for the first time all day, I was a much more reasonable human being.

The moral of this sad and poignant tale is this.  As soon as you get up after drinking, eat something you ass!

Teacher.  Again, I apologies for being such a complete ass.

Like a good lanceing or perhaps having your should put back in it's socket.

2006-06-23T11:32:00.000-04:00

It’s very humbling when you are caught in a dirty little secret.    There I was quietly ignoring the potential implications of keeping photos of Roxy around.

In my own defense I truly hadn’t thought about them.  What I mean is that I didn’t have em stashed away in hidden place where I would peek at them now and then.  They were  simply there.  In with all my other photos.  Nothing special.

Ah.  Well.  Until you have someone point out to you, very calmly and very pleasantly that it upsets them.

I didn’t realise at the time that I completely over reacted.  I went off the deep end.  In retrospect I realise that I knew exactly what I was doing.  Like the 800 pound man.  I didn’t eat the whole chicken in a sitting, but in 30 mini sittings.

I’m waffling.  It’s painful and I’ve been putting it off since I had a very stern word with myself this morning in the shower.  If Teacher has pictures of an ex lying around all over the place, that I could stumble over at any time.  I would be upset as well.  So I’m filing them.  All of them.

I’ve just finished.  I can’t believe how very hard that was.  Nor how very much better I feel for doing it.  How very strange.

Ah well.  Talk later about the calls to the folks..

2006-06-22T21:49:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I know. It's been days. To be honest I have actually been trying. Seems that I get this far and the PC dies or something atatcks me in the game, or..

Anyway here I am now. Been a real crappy couple of days, yesterday was the longest day of the year. It was dark by 7pm :( And the freakin' rain! It's been storming for days, which I usually enjoy. Nothin' better that a good lightning storm. Unless ya front door leaks of course, in which case you don't want to leave the house to keep and eye on it. *sigh*

Works been bloody tiring as well, seeming to suck the life out of me. Just freakin boring, I think.

I was going to write about Eldest making it back and sending photos and various other stuff. Unfortunatly Teacher has decided now would be a good time to discus the shit glasses from a specific strip joint.

Better go before she starts "putting them away"

Frustraaaattteeeddd!

2006-06-19T16:56:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to come to the screaming hissy fit conculusion that I need a vacation.

I'm sitting here possitivy seething with frustration! Of course it's pissing down outside. I still haven't thrown out the extra tight pants, so all my tackle if pushed half way up my ass. Oh and to top it I just went upstairs and theres gallons of water pouring through the top of my front door!

*sigh*

I stuck my head out of the upstairs window. Much to the amusement of the kid a couple of doors down who was splashing around in the storm with no shoes on and laughing like a maniac. There I am getting soaked, trying to see where the water could be coming from and failing misserably. Bollocks!

Blah, I bet that if I was going to be on vacation next week I would be all happy and smily! I bet I wouldn't care that two gallons of water pored through my closed from door. I bet that I wouldn't care what a.. Ahh bugger.

Maybe I'm just tired. I know I didn't sleep well last night because Teacher was still there this morning when I woke up. That usually means that I didn't get up a head of steam, so she could sleep right through. So I didn't sleep.

Maybe I just need a little after "work" nap. Oh. Maybe it's cos I haven't been out?! Or perhaps it's stress over Eldest going off to London. Aye that there could be it. Horrified that she's going to come back with a couple of tat's or pierced in strange places, or worse! *shudder*

Just cos I mentioned her, she's dropped me a note saying that she's back. Very cool. Safe and sound and no worse for ware. *sigh* That's a weight off.

Snoring? I don't snore! You on the other hand..

2006-06-15T14:08:00.000-04:00

I suddenly feel some of Surly’s pain.  Not the physical pain, I was never stupid enough to go snowboarding.  No.  The Doctor pain.  More of a pain in the arse kind of thing.

See it goes like this.  Teacher came upstairs to wake me up.  Which in itself is messed up but you’ll understand in a sec.  Just hang on.  So she came up stairs and says

“Holy Crap your snoring is LOUD!”

I’m asleep, I believe I managed a mumbled “Urhggh”

“I couldn’t hear the tv last night..”, she continues, “then I went down stairs and shut the door and I could still hear you!”
Funny I was thinking.  Before I went to sleep it looked like you were passed out!

“Are you awake?!” I wave an arm, which just coincidentally falls over my face covering my eyes from the spring morning glare

“That’s not even the worst bit.” she goes on, “the worst bit is that you stop.’

Under my draped arm, my eyebrow raises.  Bit of waste what with it being under my arm and all, but you need to keep up the habit of a good brow raise.

I couldn’t help myself.  There was a pregnant pause you could drive a bus through.

“Isn’t that a good thing?  You know.  Stopping?”, I mumble around a desiccated tongue

“Oh yes it great.” Another huge pause “Until you start choking to start yourself breathing again!” she says in exasperation. “You should go to the doctors.”

That was a couple of days ago.  Being a guy I dislike and distrust doctors on an almost instinctive level.  I personally haven’t had any bad run-in’s with Doctors.  Dentists, heaps.  Not Doctors.  Anyway I called to day, a tad unsure which one of the twelve doctors on site is mine, only to be told the earliest I could get an appointment was JULY!  What the hell is that.
I’m going to try somewhere else.  Or perhaps just call back tomorrow after a bit of badgering and make an appointment for July.  It’s just the principle of the thing!

Well bugger me, I feel "right" again!

2006-06-14T10:49:00.000-04:00

Well bugger me.

After months of what I now believe was Roxy “leaning” on me, I feel like myself again.

I know how that sounds, but what can I say?  Even before Mumsie called to say that the baby had arrived, I “knew” and the relief was palpable.  So much so that when she did call there was no discomfort at all while she told me about it.  My biggest concern was how tied she sounded.  She had been at the hospital for hours.  I remember only too vividly how that goes :)

Anyway I feel like I’m back.  Bigger and better.  Yee-har!

So where have I been?

Yeah sorry about that.  The training was Ok, the hours though were miserable.  Thank God for the people that I met though.  Turns out that the people were the only worthwhile thing about the whole thing.  Or at least that’s how it seems at the moment.  I suppose we’ll see when my people rate me *grin*  So last week was long days and no drinking.  Well hardly any. :)

Started moving Teachers accumulated stuff over on Sunday – What happened to Saturday?  Well I was out of the game for three days!  You don’t think that my addiction would allow me to go another day without playing do ya?!

Oh, yeah.  Didn’t I mention it?  Well.  Teacher was going to try and go back to school to get her degree so that she could actually get a promotion.  Stupid system if you ask me.  Get paid a pittance and you have to get another job to go back to school – or like her friend who has to go to school full time and get jobs on the side to get some form of qualification.  What the hell is up with that.  “Sorry but you are going to have to stop earning hands on, real life experience.  Why?  Oh, because we want you to learn theory instead.”  Messed up.

Sorry anyway she (Teacher) was going to go to school at night for the next five years to get her degree.  So I said.

Why?  Your basically living at my house.  If we made it official and we gave up our very convenient (for those long nights out drinking) other home you could save yourself rent there, instead you can do stuff round the house and garden for me.  The utility bills haven’t gone up any since you’ve been here so that’s no biggy.  However, I can’t stand gardening.  Or cleaning or shoveling the driveway in the winter.

So a deal was struck after she got over the shock of it all.  She’s got twelve days left of work, then she’s going to go part-time and go to school three days a week.  Poor bugger is crapping her self!  *grin*

I see that your shocked by this rather large change of events.  You shouldn’t be.  I’m sick of dating broken women.
“Eh?”

The people that I usually date have problems.  It seems that I have a knack for fixing them at least to the point that they feel that they don’t need me as a crutch any more and they leave, mostly fixed and looking for the next big adventure.

So now that I’ve found one that isn’t broken – at least no more than me! – I’m not going to let her go so easily, if that means a little investment, so be it!  *grin*

The problem I’ve finding is that because she isn’t all buggered up, I tend to over do it sometimes.  Ahh well, what can ya do?

Well

2006-06-06T17:01:00.000-04:00

Just to see if I can blog from class...
--------------------------
Sent from a BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

Ouch that hurt. Feel better for it now though.

2006-06-06T11:00:00.000-04:00

Recently, over the past couple of weeks I’ve felt the influence of the “link” again. Strangely enough it’s much like the need for a smoke. It’s like a need. The problem is the images that sometimes come along with it. Most of the time it’s flash backs of the happy times – before the.. Never mind. It makes no difference. My feelings of betrayal are only magnified because of my guilt.

I am over her. I still can’t believe how foolish I was though to be sucked into that situation. I keep kicking myself. Soon that has to stop as well. Ah well.

Back to the present. I’m going to Virginia for a huge conference of my peers tomorrow. Not sure if I’m panicking yet or not. I shouldn’t like since I probably have the most seniority :) Of course there is also the problem of getting too potted tomorrow night. The course starts on Thursday, tomorrow is simply meetings, and probably a huge bender.

Maybe I’m worried that everything is going so well, I’m almost extaticly happy, my debts are under control and the biggest complaint that I have is that the house needs cleaning, which I could have done anytime. Just couldn’t be arsed. Oh and the fact that the Librarian can’t take responsibility for anything. If I hear “But I told you about it last week” one more time, closely followed by “Well why haven’t you done anything about it?”. Take some bloody initiative for Gods sake!

Ah well at least she’s going to be out of the country for the next couple of weeks. I wish I was! *grin*

Teacher: Don’t feel despondent if you read this. I am all yours. I simply had to expel some nastiness. Much like throwing up after drinking bleach. I’ve done the milk thing now I have to get it all out so it can heal. Love you.

Pissy - not really but can't think of anything funny..

2006-06-05T18:45:00.000-04:00

All in all a good weekend.

Teacher forced me out from behind the keyboard and we went to see X Men 3. Great movie. Oh went out for dinner as well, that's right. Forgot. ;)

Starting to panic about going to Virgina until I got the itinerary "dinner meeting". *snicker*

Blah. The only thing I can think to write is miserable. Back later ;)

Finally! The Nutter is put in his place!

2006-06-02T16:27:00.000-04:00

Strange days.

I had another meeting with the Nutter. This time I was fully prepared. My boss had pusaded me to be the sacrificial lamb to be on site with him tomorrow. Went into the meeting at 2pm all braced for more inflamatary comments and abuse. But no. It seems someone must have had a quite word in his shell like ear. Suddenly he's all compomise and sweetness and light.

Could that have anything to do with the call to HR earlier in the week? Nahh, they had a proposal going on and needed the server up over the weekend. Ug-huh. Bloody nutter.

Now the plan is nice and stable. He's writing up a plan. He's spreading the migration over a week! He's going to do testing before he actually commits then to a lost cause!

Oh and after the meeting I confimed that we could give him his own fiefdom and we would never have to support it ever again. Oh and by the way nutter - Fuck you!

Ahh that felt better :)

Going out to dinner tonight with Teacher, Surly and our friend from Florida. Should be fun! *grin*

My day by bored.

2006-06-01T17:15:00.000-04:00

What a bloody day. It was one of those annoying bastards that you have heaps to do but don't feel like ya got anythin' done.

Turns out looking back that I got quite a lot done actually.

What? You want to know about the follow up meeting with the Nutjob? Where I explained in the face of his rightous indignation, basically, tough shit it aint gonna happen mate. Not with you flying by the seat of you pants anyway. I'm gonna step out an' let the management talk about it.

What? You would like to know about all those women that asked you out? Well what's to say? I was asked before the conversation with the nutter. The invitee was up from Florida and wanted to catch. Unfortunately the other two are from the same site as the nutter. I can see it now. Had a couple of beers and the next thing my guard is down and I'm slagging off the netjob veteran. Infront of his fan club. *shudder* Or even worse they feel the same and agree! Nah, I'll pass, thanks.

What? You heard a rumour that Surly had surfaced? That's right he did! Amazing, how you do that. Yes he popped back up, must have read my whinning yesterday :) Woot! Anyway looks like his problems are starting to sort themselves out. For which I am glad. Made a "date" for this week to see the Xmen. Teacher's completely disinterested - I know! I don't get it either! Ahh well her loss.

Oh yeah and the window guy cam round to measure me up. Strangely he also found another window somewhere. When the sales guy came round we all walked around and found 11 windows that needed replaced. The Master Installer gadgey comes over and suddenly there's another one in the spare bedroom! Yes I have a spare bedroom! Never mind as the Master guy said, the sales guy should throw the extra in for free cos he messed it up! Ha! We shall see..

Well that's it then. My day. The best bit of a blog is that you don't have to tell the other half how your day was. You can continue staring mining out all the Plagioclase in the universe and she can catch up at her own speed and all without having to worry about missed details.

Who the hell am I trying to kid, what actually happens is that they ask first then compair what you tell them with the written version! It's great being a couple :)

Blood and sand, why me?! Ah that's right the megabucks :o

2006-05-31T17:34:00.000-04:00

Had a meeting with the Nutjob again thjis morning. I spent most of the rest of the day foaming at the mouth.

Not really because he was yelling. I'm used to that. To be honest I was expecting it. Shit it's only yelling. No what pissed me off is that he has the site convinced that I'm not treating them as a customer!

It's the other bloody 30 odd people that I'm worried about! Oh, sorry chief, yes I want a plan as to how you think your going to acomplish this little miracle? Yes Sir. I would like you to tell me how you are going to move all of this stuff over and yes, put it back if it - God forbid - all goes wrong.

What makes it worse is that I know what he's doing! He want's his little playground back. He wants to be able to hold the rest of the office hostage, with him as the King so they can't get rid of him.

*sigh*

Did I tell you about my Dad? More frustration. He's coming over just after Independence Day. Fair enough you say. Of course being my dad he has to be special and wander around the country and show off to his girlie :)

To cut a very long story short; he's was flying from my place to San Fran. unfortunately he's gone and messed it up. He booked the outbound trip in April on United, they didn't send him a notification and he couldn't call them. After all it was an American free phone number and he does know anyone in the US. Ugh-huh. So he booked the same leg from American.

Three days later, three months after he booked them United drop him a line with his confirmation. I've offered to try and get the booking changed into Teacher and my name instead and we'll go along for the ride. Even though he won't let us drive anywhere.

Oh joy. *grin*

Ahh I feel better now. Thanks for listening to my whining ;)

Where the hell has Krave been?!

2006-05-30T09:52:00.000-04:00

It’s been a while I know.  Don’t know why either.  Maybe it’s because that bugger Surly has gone hermit again..

Perhaps but that doesn’t let me off the hook really now does it.  I don’t know what’s been happening.  It seems that I’ve been going home early and “working” while mining in Eve.  Since it doesn’t take up all your attention, I can mine and check/read/reply to email.  Take and make calls or read a book.

“And?”

Well.  I just couldn’t be arsed writing!  There I said it.  I really do miss it though.

So here I am again after what seems an age.  Sorry.  Especially to family that I also can’t seem to be arsed calling.  Wow.  I suck!

So here’s the update and I’ll try and be better and keep up my journal just so you’s can see what’s going on..

It was a holiday weekend in the States.  Teachers sister just had a baby.  Her whole family descended on Atlanta for the Christening.  I actually had a great time.  The company was good.  Even the arm squeezing by Teacher (who was on her second flight of her life) was cool.  Felt needed.  Also forgot how much I miss family. *sniff*

Anyway, didn’t take any of my electronic toys.  Completely cut off from the Internet for three days.  I didn’t realise how much I actually needed the break.  Nice time.  Nice people.  Heaps of kids.  Reminded me of being 4 or 5.  At my Grannies house, with all the men drinking up a storm, while all the women were somewhere else gossiping about them.  Good times.

In other news I’m going to Virginia for “management training” next week.   Bloody hell.  Ahh well at least I know what I have to pack this time :)

Just found re-found this. What can I say?

2006-05-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

What's life without stupid? Boring!

2006-05-08T15:55:00.000-04:00

Been trying to write for almost a week now.  Nonsense keeps getting in the way.

For example, Wednesday had to go down to the Nutjob’s site.  You remember the ones.  “lets dismantle a perfectly good environment and put this experimental one in place instead.”

Ugh-huh.
So I get out there by 4:30, Nutjob wants to shut everything off at 5.  He hasn’t told the user population specifically.  Instead he wandered around a couple of hours before and “told them”.  As it happens most of them were happy for the excuse.  They were all working on proposal stuff and had been working 20 odd hours for the past week or so.

That sorted, and feeling at a loose end – after all, I don’t have rights to do anything – I start reading my book.  At the same time calculating what time I will be able to bugger off home.  It was another lovely evening.  Seventy odd and sunny.  *sigh*

I won’t go into detail.  It’s very arduous and boring, even for those interested in the technicalities.  Sufficed to say, after his initial bragging about products that I have been using for over a year.  He pulls out the manual for the “magic software”.  I ask myself “surely he’s read this already?”  Nope.

He finally gets the thing working.  An hour before I’d figured out that it was going to complete in 16 hours.  I was off.  It was estimating 19.  Ah well.

As seven O’clock rolled round it found me climbing into my shiny new car, leaving Nutjob to watch his beast.  He finally left and had reverted everthing by 5:30 the next morning.  I had a nice email say that the migration would be happing in the way “we” had discussed.  Bloody amateurs!

The nonsense here wasn’t the experience.  Oh no. The nonsense was the Blackberry.  I’d been keeping a running commentary on the situation.  It was some of my most sarcastic writings.  It was wonderful stuff.  Especially since Nutjob thought I was reading email. Hee-hee.

I get to work the next morning looking forward to posting this brilliant missive and it’s gone!  The freaking Blackberry deleted it!

And so it was for the rest of the week.  Back now though, feeling a bit homesick after talking to BabyBro.  Shit.  He got engaged over the weekend!  *sniff*  They grow up so fast these days!

One worrying not though.  “Please don’t let Eldest have her tongue split”  How I shudder when he said that.  Piercing are all well and good.  Even stretching I can see, but that tongue splitting is nasty!

Shit gotta go.. More nonsense.

Im cranky. Sorry but I have to share.

2006-05-02T10:13:00.000-04:00

I’m cranky.

I don’t know why.  I just feel “off” if you know what I mean.  Everything is annoying me.  The trees in bloom, the fucking stupid customer who won’t listen to reason.  The latest is that I have to sit at his site from 4pm tomorrow till God knows when. All the while he will be buggering about with the fucking thing.  It’s not like I can do anything to help!  What with me being a foreign national!  Which means that I have the choice of having the Librarian sit in with me – and hear her complaining as well as the customer for however long – or keep calling her to log in and out when I need it.  *sigh*

Of course I should just send her down there with the customer.  *sigh*  Yeah right.

Bollocks.

I don’t know.  I seem to be tired all the time.  I’m sick of aching.

I should be excited no?  I have a women that loves me and looks out for me.  I just bought a car and sold my old one for a profit.  I should be able to close out all my cards with the balance, and still I’m unhappy!

I can’t help thinking that if I was just to have a smoke all would be good.  All bollocks of course.  I would just start the coughing again.

Perhaps it’s allergies.  I forget about allergies, since I never used to have them, and now I do.  Just took a couple of Sudafeds.  Funny, I’m really tiered now..

Sorry for the pissy misery,

Vindicated, by my boss, if not God yet!

2006-04-28T15:41:00.000-04:00

It would appear that I have to blog again.  Not just because it’s a lovely day.  Seventy degrees and sunny.  All my work is done and I’m just killing time until 4 and work from home starts.

No the other reason I have to blog again is to say how freakin’ awesome my boss is.

Now I’ve been with the same company now for over 11 years, a hell of a long time, especially in this day and age.  Anyway for most of that time I worked for the same part of the company.  It wasn’t until recently that I realised how badly management had treated me over the years.

It usually wouldn’t matter how shabbily or vindictively customers or potential customers or there dogs treated me and mine, they were always right.

“What do you mean they won’t believe you that trash day is on Tuesday?  I’ll talk to them about it. I’ll explain.”

Later

“Trash day is now Wednesday.”

Oh and when the customer realised that the garbage had been sitting on the curb for a week, I would be wheeled in as the scapegoat.

Ahh the good old days.  So finally I get out of that division.  I now find myself cringing inside, like one of those abused animals that have been placed in a good home.  They draw there new owners attention to the fact that they need to go out and pee.  Instead of being beaten for it they are let out and are praised for not doing it on the carpet.   They then start bouncing around ecstatic because they did get hit.

That’s how I feel.  Called my boss.  Dreading the “they are always right, accommodate them!  What do you mean you can’t make fit anymore in?!  Look at the amazing elasticity of the human skin!  It will shrink back.  Oh.  I see.  We already used you as a filing cabinet… Well suck it up!”

Sufficed to say I was rather surprised when instead he said “Fuck em.”

“Sorry?”

“Fuckem.  If they even manage to get past the first step I’ll be surprised.”

Our conversation continued in this vain for a while.  I wanted to sum up as quickly as briefly as possible.  Him being important and that.  So I said.

“So basically, you want me to give them enough rope to hang themselves on the own stupidity?”
“Yep.  Excactly.”

“Right you are boss.”

I’ve been bouncing off of the walls and grinning every since.  Even Teachers sometimes strange music – I’m trying to expose myself to as much as I can – isn’t getting on my nerves.

I love my boss!   It’s so nice to be vindicated!

Bloody customers! Stupid bastards.

2006-04-28T11:08:00.000-04:00

I was going to rant about self distructive customers. The ones that have the power to mess up whole sites simply so that they can have there toys.

Well I'm not going to! No! Instead after a moment of searching I found the best amature light sabre battle ever. Don't belive me? Check it out.

Work friendly violence

2006-04-27T11:52:00.000-04:00

Every wanted to whack your boss? Try it here..

I can only find 10 of the 14 possible though.. Must keep trying.

Deal or no deal?

2006-04-26T10:04:00.000-04:00

So I’ve sort of decided to buy a new car.

Sort of decided because I really love and care for my car, but.  There’s always a but no?  In this case every time I get something fixed – the last was $400 last week – something else pops on.  I had the “check engine” light turned off.  There were a couple of solenoids were buggered and had to be replaced.  The same morning that I took him in there was also liquid on the floor.  I convinced myself that it was the power steering.  Nope.  Water pump was buggered.

What brought this rant on is that after all that last week.  I started the car up yesterday and yep.  The bloody light was back on.  I know that it’s just because it’s of an age now that all the parts need replacing.  I know this intellectually but like when our pet cat started crapping all over the house – the poor bastard did have any control left towards the end – I think it’s time that I put myself out of my misery.

This of course brings up the question of car payments.  I haven’t had one of them for nearly four years now.  I almost have the credit cards under control.  Well as well as you ever can when you like spending money like I do!  Take for example the shiny new PC case I bought of my mate on Monday.  There’s $40 I didn’t need to spend.  Of course the PC is REALLY quite now.  Then there’s the garage roof stuff that’s gonna set me back a pretty penny tonight.  Oh and what about the christening in Atlanta next month?  *sigh*

Small steps.  I know, just starts getting overwhelming if you know what I mean.  I must find a new mortgage as well.  If have one of those nasty Adjustable jobbers and it’s expanding all over the place!  Ahhh!

Suppose I better work for a bit.  Hopefully I can escape the office early, I think I’m allergic to something in here.  As soon as I come in I start sneezing and my nose starts running.  Very sucky.

Ahh!  Today’s horoscope, now I have something to do!

So it was your FREIND that shat himself..

2006-04-25T10:19:00.000-04:00

“So Fomudder!  I hear that you shit your pants!”, I heard the bartender say as I stared glassily into my pint of Vodka and Redbull.

Oh shit, I thought.  Then remembered to close my mouth which had fallen open in surprise, then horror.   Fomudder for his part was simply looking stunned.  Not surprising since he hadn’t seen this particular bartender since mid-week.  Meanwhile Teacher is squeaking as she desperately tries not to laugh outright.

Minutes go by and nobody has said anything else.  M, the bartender is still staring knowingly at Fomudder, Fomudder is smirking and drinking his beer.  Teacher has started poking me and half whispering stuff like “You have to come clean!” and “It’s not fair!”

Finally, I couldn’t take it any longer.
“look it was me”, I blurted.

They slowly turn to stare at me.

“It’s like this..”

It was at this point that I realised why they do that wavy line thing for flashbacks, it felt just like that.

----

Hours earlier Teacher and I had been sitting at the end of the bar, with Fom.  He’d been in for a about a beer.  With nothing else to do he wandered off.

Just as he walked out, I dropped what I thought was a descreate botty burp.  Well lets just say that it wasn’t loud.. It was however probably one of the smelliest nastiest farts that it has every been pleasure to create.

This thing was so bad that soon after release I started coughing.  Teacher looked over at me wondering what I was doin’ when her eyes bugged out of her head and she started to gag.  She then started glaring at me.  I think she would have been telling me off it her vocal cords hadn’t locked up due to the pungent  gases floating in the area.  What made it worse was that the longer it was in the environment, the stronger it got.  It didn’t seem possible.

This is the point when innocent bystanders started to “get involved”.

R, the early bartender came over to see if we needed anything.  I can only imagine what he was thinking as he walked down the bar to us.  We both must have been looking a bit strange what with the choking and the tears running freely down our faces.
It’s funny.  I knew exactly when the cloud got him.  He was smiling at us walking down, “Can I ge…”, suddenly his eyes went huge and he couldn’t appear to speak anymore.  Unfortunately it was at this point that I started snickering.

R starts glaring at me as if it’s my fault!

“Hay!  It wasn’t me!  It was Fomudder that smelly fucker!  He shit his pants!”  I exclaimed.

Teacher who was just starting to get over the sickening effects of the cloud, choked again, then started alternatively laughing and glaring at me.

“It’s fucking reakin’ init!”, I yelled at Y’s retreating back.  He had an arm over his face and waving a wash cloth.  It didn’t appear to be working.

“Why did you blame it on Fom?”, Teacher asked sotto voiced.

“What the hell did ya want me to do?  If I told him it was me he wouldn’t have come back down here.  No matter how much I tipped him!”
“yeah I suppose your right, you freaking reek!  Go outside next time!”

“Sorry, it must have been the cheese.  It’s ok.  Well be long gone before Fom comes back.”

Ugh-huh.

I feel like a mushroom

2006-04-20T14:33:00.000-04:00

I feel like a mushroom.

As good a day as yesterday was, today is turning as sour.  I know what’s causing it.  I mean I should be amused that there are no lights on working in the office.  The circulating jokes about the bosses having taken the mushroom style of management (keep them in the dark and shovel them with shit) a bit too far.  But I have a car thing hanging over me.

I know nothing about cars.  I don’t really want to know anything, mind, but when something goes wrong, and I need to talk to someone I don’t want to come across as a dumb ass.  That said I find myself in a strange situation with my regular garage.  Do you mind if I explain?  No?  Marvelous!

So a couple of months ago I took my car in and oops-a-daisy there’s all kinds of shit wrong with the engine.  I agree that they should fix it.  Which happened to involve whipping the top off of the engine (the very thought of which puts the fear of God into me).  Buggering about inside, “while were in there we would be as well replacing the thermostat”.   Fair enough.  As well as various other stuff.

Anyway.  I get it back and the next day the “check engine” lights pops back on – did I mention that’s why I took it in, in the first place?  Oh and did I mention that this little operation set me back over a grand?  Yeah…

“Oh.  Right.  Bring it back in.”

They call me later that day to say that they found a valve that wasn’t working.  $30 for the valve and work to replace it and $70 for the diagnostic.  Seemed fair enough.  (Yes I am getting to the point, need to give ya some background though!)

That was the weekend we went over to Gettysburg.  On the way back.  *bink*  On comes the little light again.  This is a couple of months ago.  It’s now time for an oil change, I know this not simply because the “check engine” light is on.  No.  The “Change Oil Soon” light is on as well.  And just to poke me in the balls, there little friend “Low Coolant” came on to join them!

So a couple of days ago, Teacher volunteers to take it in for an oil change. (Very sweet of her, yes I have thanked her properly for the time, effort and for thinking about me)  She didn’t take it to my favorite garage, but to someone else.

When I get home she had me sit down then shows me this piece of paper from the garage – we will call it “her garage” just so we can distinguish.  So Her garage did the oil change and because they are so helpful they had a look round.  Now just to piss me off, they didn’t put any coolant in.  Sorry.

They wrote up a lovely estimate, which came all wrapped up in there credit card application form (always a bad sign that).  For yes you guessed it $1000 after tax.  They recon that amongst other things that the lower intake manifold gasket is buggered.  “Oh yeah and while were in there we would be as well changing the thermostat”

Why is he telling us all this?

Well because my quandary is do I don’t know enough to feel comfortable yelling and screaming.  I was hoping that if I wrote out some of my angst I would have a better feel for how to handle it.  I think I’m going to go for “confused foreigner”.  I’m going to go back to my garage simply because Hers didn’t even gave the decency to fill the bloody coolant even though I was going to pay the bastards!

It’s praying on me.  Of course I haven’t had a car payment now for nearly four years so I shouldn’t be complaining really..  But still!
More as it develops.

What a bloody day, it's all good though! grin

2006-04-19T17:15:00.000-04:00

What a bloody day.
Edicts coming down from on high, mountains of paperwork littered my desk, strange requests from the Eldest.

I was going to write a huge pithy entry.  Instead you got this:

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

Eldest -  says:
hey can i get my tongue pierced cos mum says no!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Hell no!  Speak to Creature Teacher first for some stories..
Eldest -  says:
y not!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Now, be careful with the tone!  *grin*
Eldest -  says:
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!
Eldest -  says:
i rlly wanna g it done!!!!!!!
Eldest -  says:
*get
Krave, the patient father -says:
I'm told that things like to grow where it's dark and moist..  *shudder*
Elest the un-pierced -says:
please!
Elest the un-pierced -says:
like i sed 2 mum, if u say no now ill jst go n get it done wen im 16! i dnt need an adult then!
Krave, the patient father -says:
*snicker*  Good luck with that.  I can see you now living under a bridge..
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
yeh they already told me id hav 2 move out if i did
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Krave, the patient father -says:
Poor baby
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
pretty please?!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
mum sed if grandad syas yes i can get it done...Like thats ever gonna happen!
Krave, the patient father -says:
lol, why d'ya think she said it?!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
i mean it! im gonna get it done when im 16!!!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Yes dear.
Krave, the patient father -says:
*snicker*
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
but if ya gave me permission it would be even better!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Until ya mother got a hold of me, or even worse, my wallet!  *grin*
Krave, the patient father -says:
Patience darlin..
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
but ive waited 4 ages!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
the thing i want looks so kl!
Krave, the patient father -says:
define ages..
Krave, the patient father -says:
Get a clip on!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
a month or 2
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
no cos evry1 wld no it wsnt real!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Yeah that's ages alright!  lol
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
it is 4 me
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
its over 5 months till my birthday tho, in total thats 6 months!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Have you been stamping your foot and stuff in frustration?
Krave, the patient father -says:
Ugh-huh
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
not yet, but ive been wining
Krave, the patient father -says:
lol
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
whining
Krave, the patient father -says:
rofl
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
the voice has been going higher
Krave, the patient father -says:
Oh dear I may have to post this..
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ill give u permission 2 blog about me if u give me permission 2 get pierced!
Krave, the patient father -says:
You really are too funny.  I had water come out of my nose that time!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Krave, the patient father -says:
What happened to just getting your ears done?  I know.  Mods are cool and all that but still!  We had to wait til we were 18!  That's messed up that is!

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
i dnt like ear piercings, sounds rlly sore  id rather get sumthin else pierced tbh!
Krave, the patient father -says:
What?!  Ya think it's gonna be any less painful?!  Ya wuss! lol
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
nah i jst dnt like ear piercings, they freak me out
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
the only reason i hav earings in is cos there stretched!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Please!  Your killing me!  I have a stitch now!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
im jst bein honest
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ppl will be lookin over their cubicals 2 check on ya in a minute
Krave, the patient father -says:
It's all good, your just making me laugh too hard is all.
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
gdgd
Krave, the patient father -says:
Indeed, if it wasn't 70 degrees out and past 4   There all off playing golf!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
not out gettin piercings?
Krave, the patient father -says:
Unlikely, although they're all over 18 so they can do as they please   Oops!  That's right your not!  Sorry about that..  *grin*
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
stop it!!!!
Krave, the patient father -says:
lol
Krave, the patient father -says:
See there you go again!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
Grrr i jst want a piercing!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ya wont even see it! its in my mouth ffs!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Why not get one between you toes instead?  That way you can actually watch the nasties growing in the piercing!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
euwww thats gross!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
it will shut me up 4 a few days! my mum kinda liked that idea
Krave, the patient father -says:
lol
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
this is wot my m8 bob thinks
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
Babbens :: says:
so u been up to much?
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
nope, jst begging
Babbens :: says:
?
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
my mum, paul and now my dad 2 let me get pierced
Babbens :: says:
lol
Babbens :: says:
aha
Babbens :: says:
u see
Babbens :: says:
i have beaten u to it
Babbens :: says:
i have spread bobism
Babbens :: says:
to the maybury family
Babbens :: says:
all i need to do is convert the corrupt child

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
and now my frienHow could this be done, By such a smiling sweetheart. says:
so tell him, well, il become a hooker... get money for it that way... and when im 16 il get it AND il get my eyebrow AND nose AND staple... etc...
d katey

Krave, the patient father -says:
I think I need to have a quite word with your little friends.
Krave, the patient father -says:
No.  I have a better idea
Krave, the patient father -says:
I'll just drop a line to your Grandad..
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ill jst hav 2 convince him 2 then wont i!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Yeah!  Good luck with that!  Ask ya mum how he reacted to her "tame" piercings!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
if u give me permission tho he wont b able 2 get you! i can survive in a tent! mum has a front door she can lock!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ure safe!
Krave, the patient father -says:
SUUUURRREEEEE I am!  He knows where I live!  He has lots of money and lot so of friends!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Krave, the patient father -says:
Exactl
Krave, the patient father -says:
Exactly
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ya can come n live with me in my tent if ya want  wiv my new piercing
Krave, the patient father -says:
*grin*
Krave, the patient father -says:
No comment
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Eldest the un-pierced -says:
please?
Krave, the patient father -says:
Don't take a hint do ya.  So here ya go.  Nope, no, no-way.'
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
how not! i need a reason other than grandad!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Shit!  No ya don't believe me!  Just ask him if you don't believe me!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
i believe ya but i need a reason!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
i rlllllly dnt take a hint!
Krave, the patient father -says:
Missed a comma in there somewhere, should have read
Shit!  No ya don't, belive me!  Just ask him if you don't believe me!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
ah i c
Krave, the patient father -says:
*grin*  Night darlin'.  Luv ya.
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
one more time! prettttttttty please?!
Krave, the patient father -says:
*snort*  MORE bloody water!
Eldest the un-pierced -says:
if thats wot it takes!
Krave, the patient father -says:
It's not but nice try
Eldest the un-pierced -says:

Sick Spasmoid From Outer Space says:
right g2g now, mail me if ya change ure mind
Steve E. says:
lol

Random wanderings of a tierd mind?

2006-04-18T10:29:00.000-04:00

OK.  Let’s try this again.  My previous effort was erased due to incompitance or perhaps tiredness.  It’s only bloody 9:30 but I want to go to bed again!

Ah well.

So last night was spent cleaning out the garage.  Alright I should say that Teacher did most of the cleaning.  Unlike Sunday however I wasn’t just sitting on the stoop playing video games and watching.  Yesterday I actually got off my lazy arse and did something.  The something in question was the bracing of the joists in the garage roof.  I managed to put one in last year but what I realised was the instability of the set of steps I was using, it turned into a nightmare.

I purchased the step ladder from the neighbors when they had there garage sale, just before they moved.  In the batch was also a really nasty Christmas tree and a dozen “range” golf balls amongst other crap.  What can I say?  They hooked me with a  little table and started adding in other stuff for “bargain basement” prices.

So this ladder was the most messed up piece of shite.  When I climbed more than two steps up it would start oscillating.  Now you can imagine how disconcerting this can be when you have one hand with a drill in it and the other with a steel brace.  Five steps up and the bloody thing was like a freaking pendulum.  Unfortunately it would swing in random directions so that I couldn’t compensate.  I was actually starting to think that it was my inner ear, until a friend can over and used it.  “This thing wobbles all over the place!  It can’t be safe!  Get a new one, you cheap bastard!”.  Shortly after that I bowed to peer pressure and purchased a shinny new step ladder.

Meanwhile back at the garage, Teacher is looking to throw EVERYTHING out.  If it looks old, she want’s to throw it on the tree lawn.  A tree lawn (link added after.  You lean something new everyday!) for those that don’t know is a piece of grass the same length as your front garden, but only about three feet deep.  I don’t know what it’s real purpose is, but it only seems to be used for dumping the trash and anything you want them strange folk with the van to pick up. I swear they are the modern equivalent of the Rag and Bone men.  So she’s dragging stuff away, that old table, all the strange bags of stuff that have spouted in the garage over the past couple of years..  You know the scoop.

I don’t really remember where I was going with the ramble.  Except to say that the garage is now clean and tidy with all the joists braced.  Oh and remember the ladder of oscillation?  Well I came up from watching Jar Heads for a restroom break and there’s someone loading the bastard onto the back of a truck.  I was about to step outside to thank them for taking it when they rushed off guiltily.  I just snickered.

Another day in paradise.

2006-04-12T09:08:00.000-04:00

Shudda blogged when I first came in. Instead I started with email and then messenger went off... You know how it goes.

News, news, news.

My Dad has actually purchased tickets and posted his Itinerary for the monster trip to the States. Seems to be Ten Thousand miles in ten days. Ahh well as long as he doesn't try and take me with him! Again! *grin*

New role is starting to kick in. New stuff to do, new stuff to learn, new spanking's to give out to the stupid. Oh Sorry, that's only in the depths of my own mind.

"What do you mean, You told the customer that they can't have that?"

*whack*

"You do know that they paid for it and pay for your services to help them, don't you?"

*whack*

"No. You don't have the right to stop them from being stupid. If they want to be stupid let them! Just make sure that you warn them in writing to cover your arse!"

*whack*

"You've been doing this for nearly ten years! You should know this shite by now!"

*whack* *whack* *whack*

That wire is live! Turn the engine off!

2006-04-11T09:17:00.000-04:00

I was going to go on a tirade about a guy who came back from Iraq to find that his working world had changed but he couldn't handle it. I'm not going to do that. That's for tomorrow!

Last night against my better judgement Teacher bought her self a hardwired modulator for the car. Basically it lets you plug an mp3 into this box, that in turn is plugged into you car radio with the Ariel. Your listening to the radio, flick the switch and your listening to your musac on you player, man.. Chillin'.

Don't get me wrong, I was all happy that she is buying toys. What go me was that she wanted to install it in the parking lot of the store. She had the little sales guy show her which wires had to be spliced and off she went. Ripped the radio out right there and then, the wee man striped the wires. Next thing I know I have my pocket knife out and I'm laying bare wires and removing connectors.. Finally convinced her to go back to mine so at least I could mount the little bugger properly. At least give me the chance of using tools. It all turned out good. She now has a headphone cable hanging down by the gear stick and a little red switch above the ashtray. Looks nice, I'll just try and forget the trauma of the installation and the car ride with bare wires and a radio in my lap.

Also the Youngest's birthday today, and I've just been informed that it is also Teachers mothers as well. Supposed to go out to dinner tonight with her family. Must get the call into the Youngest before the nightmare of diplomacy completely drains me.

Oops, gotta go, I think that's my machine arriving, I did mention that I forgot my PC this morning.. Yeah should be a great day! *grin*

OK. Let's try this again.

2006-04-10T09:47:00.000-04:00

What's up with the title?

Well I wrote up a huge humourous post on Friday while working on three machines, while working at home. I went to spell check it and the bugger vanished. Bloody Internet Explorer! Trying to "help" me from myself!

*sigh*

So an update. On Friday I was working from home, while waiting for my new bed to arrive. Of course since it was Teachers birthday, and we were supposed to go out after work, the movers didn't arrive till 6:45. Teacher had been asking where I was since 4.. Yeah.

While waiting for the movers though I built a machine for one of her friends, and played the game as well as watching emial. Talk about multi-tasking, now I realise why the post got dropped I can't handle so much going on at once!

So the movers arrived, eventually and they rush in, whip the head board in and around the corner of the stairs, the suddenly stop. It's stuck. There is no way that it's going to fit the way that are doing it. We all agree to pull it and I'll go look at something else.

I didn't even feel disapointed. I just wanted to get out of the house. I'm about to leave when the movers call me.

"Were too far away now, but we were thinking about it and we would like to try it upside down"

With my mind in a differant place, I'm speachless. Niether of them are my type. Then I realise they are talking about the headboard. (I should point out that the headboard in question is taller than I am!)

"OK. When do you want to try?"

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sure, I should be back after three.."

So it was set.

Went out with Teacher, I think she had a good birthday, wasn't too messed up, although I was feeling ropey the whole of Saturday. Must have been a bad pint or perhaps those Washington Apples didn't sit too well..

The movers came back on Saturday and sure enough the headboard went up the stairs with ease. 20 minutes later, the boys are away and I'm napping on my new bed. Ahh bliss. I'll have to take a photo..

Sunday was busy, took Teachers dad's rebuilt PC over and hooked it up, did the family thing. Met the whole lot of em in the Mall, which happened to have a Best Buy where I picked up a MP3/WMA cd player for the car.

Is it Friday yet? Hell no!

2006-04-05T10:33:00.000-04:00

It's not Friday yet is it. Nope. It can't be. If it was I wouldn't be sitting at my desk reading a book.

Don't get me wrong, there is stuff I could be doing. For example the Librarian is moaning and complaining about the amount of tickets that she has. When I have a look, it turns out she logged them herself for stuff she would like to accomplish. Fair enough.

Finally finished downloading a new flavour of Linux, only to find that it doesn't freaking boot itself up! The bloody thing just sits there and stares at me! I wanted to reach in and rip it's.. Oops I didn't get to kill anybody last night so I'm a tad, you know.

"You didn't kill anyone?"

That's right went to the local comedy club, Teacher won tickets again. I didn't really want to go, I've been feeling really tired all the time since the clocks went forward and I was looking forward to a nice nap, perhaps playing the game for a bit then early to bed. As it happens I'm rather glad I did go, the couple of beers helped unwind me a bit and the last comedian more than made up for the horrible performance of the three before him.

Oh. Did I mention that I bought this monstrous bed? A huge wrought iron monstrosity, so sexy that it ships with it's own handcuffs! Awesome. It's supposed to be delivered on Friday, so I'll have to "work from home" to make sure I'm there for the delivery guys :)

Busy weekend. Glad I took a nap.

2006-04-03T08:40:00.000-04:00

I now know why people, like my baby brother, get up at ungodly hours of the morning. Jump in the car and drive out to the golf course for a "quick nine before work". Until this weekend I would laugh! I would cackle! I would deride him as a lunatic!

Then the magical thing happened. Woke up Saturday at 6am, had grief because I convinced myself that I really could eat a massive cheesy mouth watering pizza without issues, and there wasn't. Until the next morning. Then all hell broke loose and let's just say I read an awful lot of my book in the next couple of hours. Anyway, called round the boys to make sure they were still up for the outing, it had pissed down with rain the night before so I was a bit worried.

Turns out there was no reason. Picked up Surly, met S at the course. There was not a soul to be seen. Picture it if you will. It's 10:30 on a brisk but sunny Saturday. For the whole eleven wholes there isn't a single person in front or behind us. Were buggering about, hitting multiple balls and the like. Surly is screaming "HOOOAAARRRRR" as loudly as he can.

It was beautiful. There was no one round to care! We went fishing for golf balls! One of us - no names - stood with his back to us and slashed on the tee. Freakin' awesome!

That is the only way to play golf. None of this stopping and starting, bollocks! Just go as fast or as slow as ya want. I now have a dream. I have to start saving for my own golf course. There's no freakin' way that I'm going to get up of a morning for a quick round! Ha!

Sunday I bought a bed at least the head and bottom boards. A monster wrought iron beast. Cost a bloody fortune but at least there's plenty of place for the handcuffs :)

Spent the rest of the day wrestling with the bloody firewall. For those that might not know and I will explain, for those that want to know more, you can check here. Basically I built a machine that sits between the DSL modem (the box that plus into the phone) and my router (the box my PC's are plugged into), that try's to stop those nasty people called Hackers from taking control of my machines. Took me a while, but now it's up, it is fantastic!

On the down side the closet where all the equipment is sitting is trashed. I'll post photo's of the Gatorade bottles holding the firewall off of the printer...

Need to put in shelves, I suppose.

Err yes boss. I can do that..

2006-03-31T08:05:00.000-05:00

It's been over a year now since I got my Green Card.

I can hear you now, "Ugh-huh, Krave. We know this. You don't stop going on about it."

Well! I'm not getting defensive, it's just that my boss has realised that I've been sitting on my expanding arse, basically doing nothing for the past year except for the odd moment of "fire fighting" here and there. Yesterday he gave me five people to keep an eye on. No more money of course, after all they have to make sure that I don't mess the poor little buggers up too much :)

I was on the phone with one of em for nearly two hours last night setting up for a project that he's working on. I'm not sure if I'm going to be the boss or technical support. Ahh well, it's nice to have a reason to come into work again.

Course as a balance some of my mates have been told that they are at risk - again. All the time I was an Alien, I would tell em to get the hell out. Now I realise that seniority goes a hell of a long way, and starting again somewhere is freakin' scary.

On a differant note, I wonder if we will survive Saturday golf. Huge storms are rolling in.. We shall see :)

Strange tangents anyone?

2006-03-30T08:44:00.000-05:00

I must try an' post every day. It's like exercise, if I don't do it I feel all stale and musty.

I also have to try and forget that other people are (perhaps) reading my musings as well. Much like my nice clean fish. They know there's something out there, but they still putter round, not doing much of interest most of the time. Then every now and then. Bang! George collides with Stripes and it makes ya giggle. Just a bit.

So.

My Mother mailed me. The parcel that she sent for my birthday, which inexplicably got sent to my old address, arrived back at her house in Scotland, no worse for ware considering it's round trip. The post office returned it to sender and it actually made it. Amazing. Anyway she tells me that she posted it back. Should be here in a couple of days! *grin*

The weekend should be interesting. Me, Surly and the Fandango brothers are supposed to be playing golf on Saturday. What started as a nice leisurely afternoon stroll with a 1pm tee off, suddenly became, breakfast and rush around since "Fandango the younger" has to go to parties afterwards. Poor bugger. I don't think that there even adult parties. More in the way of kids birthday parties. :) *snicker*

Teachers birthday next week, I suppose I should buy her something. Still plenty of time to get chocolates.. *snicker*

Oh. I suppose I should mention if only in passing the latest addiction. If it is.. What I mean is that I've started playing Eve again. I played it when it was in beta a couple of years ago. It's pigging huge! 5000 different galaxies each with it's own planets and what not. Up to 25000 people logged in at any one time! It's huge. Of course that very hugeness makes for a challenge. It's like being 13 again and trying to decide what I want to be! I had no idea then and I have no idea now with my avatar. I think I'm just going to get a job with one of the Corporations and see how it goes. What's the worst that could happen?

****

KraveSeb finds himself walking aimlessly through Ballista space station in Allorian space. His once promising carrier in tatters. He now realizes that last job wasn't the best idea he's ever had. Not only did management keep the deposit for the trade goods, which would have made for a tidy nest egg. He had also used the money he'd stashed away for insurance on his ship, to buy "novelty toys".

The pirates that blew his ship out from under him, were laughing as they collected the remains of his ship from the emergency cargo container.

As KraveSeb stared in stunned disbelief, as the collected his life's work, he wondered how it could possibly get any worse! Yes they would give him a newb ship - not quite big enough to sit in let alone carry cargo - but where would he go? He was just coming to the realization that he still had all those hours of training under his belt, and starting to come out of his funk when the artillery shell came winging in and smashed he vulnerable life support pod to smithereens.

Coming to, in the most basic clone available. The only things he can remember are: Always buy the best clone you can afford, and make sure you have insurance..

Seems I'm having flashbacks.

2006-03-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

Bloody typical.  Just because I want to blog the bloody server is down.   Ah well.

I’ve put the tunes on, cracked my knuckles.  My head bobbing to the White Stripes as I focus my thoughts.

Begin:

So I’ve been away for a while, which seems to be fairly normal.  It’s as if you get sick of hearing yourself or something.  Anyway.  Here’s an update.

Things are kicking up a bit at work, the Boss has decided that I’m wasted holding the Librarians hand, so he’s give me four others to keep an eye on as well.  Things, should be getting more interesting. Maybe I won’t be able to read my latest book for most of the day.  It’s just that it’s soo bloody boring.  If I didn’t think that it would change eventually I would be seriously looking for another job.

Come to think of it.  Some of my oldest friends found me the other day.  They were both around when I first arrived in the country and I was partly responsible for getting them hired.  Of course one of them decided that I should live in a town near him, not knowing any better at the time I went along with it.  Over the next two years I found that I was getting way too much exercise.  I didn’t have a car at the time.  All the stores were at least a mile and half away and I didn’t realise that it was un-American to walk or take the bus.  Even the bar was two miles away.  Didn’t have a push-bike either.  Oh.  Did I mention the positively joyous bus journey to work that usually took three quarters of an hour.   However because I lived in what’s called the snow belt – an area that receives on average twice as  much snow as everyone else – some mornings and evenings I would be standing around for hours waiting for the poor old bastard to make it through the drifts.

Sorry I drifted off.

What I was going to say is that they are working together again, just down the road and “they are always looking for good people”.  Problem is that I think I’m still holding a grudge about the apartment in BFE.  (Bum Fuck Egypt)

That pisses me off even more now that I think of it.  I was having a really nice chat with the other guy via email.  I really miss TT.  He’s like seven feet tall and when I came back to the States permanently he was assigned to “train” me.  The customers loved him.  They could see him from anywhere on the floor.  He was a good foot and a half taller than the highest cube wall.  He had this amazing instinct for free food.  He knew which floor and when we should turn up on any give day of the week to maximize the amount of free food.  He even got in with the Admins so that when a catered meeting was going on he would get first dibs on the leftovers.  It was amazing thing to watch.  Later I was on my own floor, a meeting was just breaking up for some Senior folks, I’m hangin’ round for the left over sandwich selection – IT guys prerogative – when the admin starts laughing.  I look over and here he comes.  All seven foot of him trying to be stealthy.  Ahh those were the days.

I have no idea what that was.  Some kind of mind cleaning flashback.  I’m amazed that that the memory hadn’t been killed off by the vast quantities of Captain Morgan that was consumed in those days.  Ah well it must have been faster than some of it’s slower brethren.

I was on a roll until I was just interrupted by stupidity.  Maybe I should blog at home.  Perhaps I should work from home.  Ohh, then I could play – err – I mean research EVE while I wait for something to happen!

What the hell?!

2006-03-20T10:15:00.000-05:00

It would appear that Krave hasn't been in recently. The body has been coming to work but the mind is other wise engaged. Same at home I suppose, I don't really remember.

It's the games. The nasty side effect of being a gamer is that sometimes the addiction gets too much. Especially if there is nothing going on at work. As it's been for the past couple of months. Shit I haven't even had anything to blog about. It's all.

Went home. Plugged in. Leveled. Went to bed. Woke up. Considered calling in sick. Went to work. Looked for helpfull gaming hints. Read some of the book. Went home.

Nothing interesting about that you might think. Unless your living it! Ha! Then it's vibrant and scintillating! I can't wait to get home! There is litterally nothing to do at the office. I'm excited these days when I have a machine to rebuild - for those that don't know that is one of the most meanial jobs to be found in my line of work.

Ahh well. Spring is here. It's been a year since I stopped smoking and I'm not going back! The birds have started nesting in the tree in my back yard, so the morning choir will be starting up again soon.

And joy of joys! It looks like the allagies have started up again! Whoo-hoo!

Just wanted to say, that I'm not as miserable as my postings may make me seem. I'm just bored shitless at work, where I have to spend most of my waking hours.

Perhaps it's time to find a new flavour of Linux to fiddle with. That always seems to keep the mind busy..

How's it going? The song sums it up.

2006-03-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

when you're sitting in your class
and it's blowing out your ass
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're looking at a movie
and out comes a poopie.
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you think it's just a poop
but it comes out like soup
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're playing with your pet
and your butt is moist and wet
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're playing in the park
and you're seeing something dark
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're rolling' like a tire
cuz your intestines are on fire
diarrhea, diarrhea

when the feeling's not that nice
and you have to flush it twice
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're on the seat for hours
and it doesn't smell like flowers
diarrhea, diarrhea

when your stomach starts a rollin'
and you're cleaning out your colon
diarrhea, diarrhea

toilet paper you need to gather
cuz your butt worked up a lather
diarrhea, diarrhea

you think you're feeling better
but you keep on getting wetter
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you think your friends are jokin'
but your pants are brown and soakin'
diarrhea, diarrhea

you don't feel like a winner
when your butt blows out your dinner
diarrhea, diarrhea

you really want to shout
as it keeps on dripping out
diarrhea, diarrhea

you're sitting on the pot
cuz it's coming out a lot
diarrhea, diarrhea

it's sounds just like a horn
as your butt pops out some corn
diarrhea, diarrhea
heyou:
you're there in the huddle
and you're standing in a puddle
diarrhea, diarrhea
you just made a tackle
and it splattered out like spackle
diarrhea, diarrhea

you're going out for a pass
and it blows right out your ass
diarrhea, diarrhea

it's really flowing loose
like it's running through a goose
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're shopping at the store
and it's dripping on the floor
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you eat an extra cherry
and your belly's feeling scary
diarrhea, diarrhea

you're acting like a fool
and your pants fill up with stool
diarrhea, diarrhea

you really want to play
but your butt begins to spray
diarrhea, diarrhea

you know you're having trouble
when your butt begins to bubble
diarrhea, diarrhea

that's the way it goes
when your butt thinks it's a hose
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you're feeling kinda funky
cuz your butt is kinda skunky
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you think you hear it raining
perhaps your butt is draining
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you're swimming in a pool
and you leave a trail of stool
diarrhea, diarrhea

when your stomach's really hurting
and your butt it starts a squirting
diarrhea, diarrhea

if your running really fast
cuz it's squirting out your ass
diarrhea, diarrhea

if your butt's about to spew
and there's nothing you can do
diarrhea, diarrhea

your stomach's feeling wavy
while your butt is making gravy
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you feel you need to scream
cuz your butt spews out a cream
diarrhea, diarrhea

if your fun begins to fizzle
cuz you feel it start to drizzle
diarrhea, diarrhea

you think you're gonna fart
but you blow your pants apart
diarrhea, diarrhea

what you thought was just a fart
just made your pants a work of art
diarrhea, diarrhea kurlee

I was sitting in a tree
and it trickled down my knee
diarrhea, diarrhea

if you find a peanut on your pinky
and your finger's kinda stinky
diarrhea, diarrhea PooPDaddY

I can tell by the smell
your not feeling very well
diarrhea, diarrhea PooPDaddY

it's when you strain to hear the words
and the whole theater hears your turds
diarrhea, diarrhea lbh

it's when you're foamin' at the ass
but you're just laughin' from the grass
diarrhea, diarrhea lbh

when you weed and feed your grass
with liquid fertilizer ass
diarrhea, diarrhea lbh

you try to hold your breath
as you're leaking liquid death
diarrhea, diarrhea

Just when you think its gonna stop
you gotta run and get a mop
diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're running in a race
and something splatters in your face
someone else's diarrhea, diarrhea

When your stool is kinda loose
Just like grass goin thru a goose
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you eat at pizza hut
and your ass just won't stay shut
diarrhea, diarrhea l.c.s.

when it hits you in a flash
and you make a gooey splash
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're feeling kinda sick
and you need a toilet quick
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're sliding into first
and you feel something burst
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're sliding into second
and you feel something beckon
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're sliding into third
and you feel a little turd
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're sliding into home
and you feel a burst of foam
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're driving down the road
and you gotta drop a load
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you're driving in your chevy
and you feel something heavy
diarrhea, diarrhea

some people think it's funny
but it's really hot and runny
diarrhea, diarrhea

no pain, no strain,
just sit and let it drain
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you think you've got to fart,
but your butt shoots out a dart
diarrhea, diarrhea
when you're climbing up the ladder
and you hear something splatter
diarrhea, diarrhea

when you wake up in the morning
and your pants are overflowing
diarrhea, diarrhea meg

when your doing hula hoop
and you squirt a squishy poop
diarrhea, diarrhea Mark G.

When you start to squeeze your cheeks,
And out your butt it leaks
diarrhea, diarrhea Aaron

when you're eating tasty nachos
and your pants become gazpacho
diarrhea, diarrhea ron

Some people think it's gross
but it's really good on toast
diarrhea, diarrhea Montezuma

When you're playing "pull my finger"
And your butt lets out a zinger
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.
When most of what you excrete
Hits the bottom of the seat
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.

When you're dinner party's spoiled
'Cause your pants you just have soiled
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.

When you think it's solid poop
But it feels like Chunky® Soup
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.

You know it's going to hurt
With each painful, burning squirt
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.

When you feel like you're in labor
And you need three rolls of toilet paper
diarrhea, diarrhea Raphael C.

When you spread apart your tushy
and it comes out brown and mushy
diarrhea, diarrhea Libby C.

When you feel the tide a'mountin'
then it's gushing like a fountain
diarrhea, diarrhea Libby C.

When your pants smell like shit
and you don't think you can sit
diarrhea, diarrhea bob

when you start your flirting
and your ass starts a squirting
diarrhea, diarrhea

When your going down the slide
and You feel SOMETHING glide
diarrhea, diarrhea

You just thought you'd bend down
And now the wall is brown
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

When all you've done is fastin'
And your ass is still a-blastin'
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

When your surfin' on the 'net
And your chair gets hot and wet
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

When your drivin' in your Dodge
And your bowels start to dislodge
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

You make a nasty frown
As your jeans are turnin' brown
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

you really get annoyed
cuz it's hell on hemmorhoids
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

Just relaxin' in the pool
Then your butt begins to drool
diarrhea, diarrhea Chadly

when you are driving your hog
and you drop a big log
diarrhea, diarrhea bigjohn

Oh crap there onto me!

2006-03-15T11:47:00.000-05:00

"Mrs. Ex-Krave"

"Yes"

"This is Ms. Drone from the Child Support Agency"

"Yes"

"We were checking our records and we were wondering if you knew the wareabouts of Krave."

"Oh, I know exactly where he is!"

"Would you mind telling us?"

"Of course! He's living abroad and has been for the past 9 years!"

"Oh. Do you know where"

"Yes and I told your lot when he left that he's living in America and you told me that there is nothing that you can do! Has that changed?!'

"Well no. Thank you for your time. *click*"

"Bastards"

A heart warming? Stopping? conversation relayed by the ex-wife. Only five years left on the leases!

Bugger me with a bottle brush! I know what's wrong!

2006-03-06T14:37:00.000-05:00

All day I'm been feeling weird.. I couldn't put my finger on what was going on until just now, while I had a hold of myself in the bathroom!

I feel well!! For the first time in weeks, I'm up to date at work and I don't feel like crap. At all!

Brilliant!

Perfect example of why to blog, BEFORE you read others.

2006-03-06T10:14:00.000-05:00

Strange weekend, all in all.

Friday, left work early to try out the game. Only to find that the network was going up and down like a whores draws. It would be connected for a couple of minutes then off for half an hour the back for a couple of minutes. All very frustrating.

"Oy! Bastard! Give me an engineer! My fuckin' DSL doesn't work, and the guy said the line guy was coming round!", I said when the phone connected.

After getting through the phone system, 1, 4, 6. I spoke to a nice lady. Yep they will be round in the morning. Bollocks.

What was billed as a Sci-fi extravaganza turned into Surly playing a game - which he is now completely addicted too (*snicker*) - while I tried to fix one of the three other machines in my house that don't actually have anything usable on them.. I know it's sad.

Saturday morning found me up to my elbows in hardware.

I had to walk away for a while. Work called. But I now have a term for this following section.

Techno-trash : Instead of having cars and parts of cars lying around the front yard (Trailer-trash). Techno-trash has multiple PC's lying in different states of disrepair, lying around the house.

So being the techno-trash I am, I decide that I can't be doing this any more. I have started to re-order my PC world. I AM going to sell one or two of my baby's. I will have at least one hard drive that will be pristine and up to date. So that when everything else falls apart, as I wipe and load every couple of days. I can once again have instant access to any game that I feel I need gratification from in that moment.

Bollocks. I had a point. I had loads of stuff I wanted to say. Unfortunately, I just read Gregs depressing political expose and can't concentrate now. Wanna read it? Here..

Vindicated! It's not my freaking wiring!

2006-03-03T15:47:00.000-05:00

Not even bothering to read the blogs today. Too emotionally drained.

Called The Phone Company Wankers yesterday and complained that my DSL was still working like crap and they had better do something about it! OK. Not like that more of a wimpy, "anything that you could do. I would really appreciate it."

Anyway, they check it again and they said that there was something going on with the line. Here we go I thought. There gonna blame it on my wiring. Again! "Well send and engineer out in the morning if that's OK."

"Sure", I'd resigned myself to a bland and indifferent morning of watching day-time TV, with no DSL and therefore no new game. Which by the way I'm still not sure about.

Morning comes - see how I didn't mention "it" - I'm in the basement playing the game. Wonder of wonders the like is up and running. When the phone guy arrives. Unlike the old crusty bastard that had come round the last time. Taken one look at the wiring. Snorted. Plugged a tester in. Grunted. Then blamed a phone in a different part of the house.

This guy was nice and young guy came round about 9. Asked what was going on.

Went through the speel, about having tried plugging the whole sha-bang in, when the line came into the house - ignoring the rest of the wiring - and still having problems.

Imagine my surprise when he nodded and said "sounds like it's the box outside"

I was stunned.

He went outside, came back about 20 minutes later and was nodding. "yep it's fucked" he did say that I just needed to slip an F-bomb in.. It's been a while.

He's calling in a line guy!

Vindication is a beautiful thing!

Oh wonderful pills!

2006-03-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

Good Lord! I'm positively bursting to post today!

I caved in and went to the Doctors yesterday.  The realization that I had been sick now for over two weeks sort of jolted me into action.  The fact that Teacher won’t come near me for fear of catching coodies.  Not that I blame her.  It seems that I have single handedly infected 3 quarters of the office. ;)

So I went to the Doctor and he not only gave me industrial strength decongestants and antibiotics but he had the nursie syringed my ears out as well.  It’s amazing how much sound is carried in the higher ranges, that I can now hear again.  Awesome.  I won’t mention the ¼ inch plug that they.. oops.

It’s amazing the difference between this semi healthy and the road kill feeling of Tuesday.

I swear there was more that I wanted to say..

Oh.  The missing birthday present from my Mum.  Turns out she didn’t really want me to have it and sent it to my old address, this way it’s being sent straight back to her.  At least that’s what the nice lady at the post office said.  We shall see.

Nope can’t think of anythin’..  Later.

ding-a-ling Unclean! ding-a-ling Unclean!

2006-02-28T10:48:00.001-05:00

While I wait for my re-filed email to re-index. Moved all the 2005 mail out and moved in the 2006. I find that I still have time after reading the updates of everyone else's lives.

I'm struck again by how most of us are down and miserable at about the same time. I'm starting to come out of this self inflicted nastiness although every now and then I cough so hard that I see spot and my chest starts throbbing. The folk in the cubes around me are threatening to start wearing masks, like I'm a bloody SARS victim!

Had a mini falling out with the Teacher last night when I got home, hopefully only a spat. I hadn't slept for a couple of nights - slept like crap last night as well - so I get home after a fuitless and depressing day. Didn't get anything done except ordered a new game - for my birthday! From the kids! - the clincher was that they let you download it before the release date of next week.

So I downloaded it in like ten minutes - 1.5gb mind - (I realize that there maybe people out there (Dad) that have no idea what I'm talking about. Never mind. Lets just say the file won't fit on a CD. Only on a DVD.

It's on the machine that I've been fiddling with so of course it took me the rest of the day to figure out how to burn it to a DVD. When I finally got a chance to try it out.. Yep it was messed up and I had to download it again from my crappy network connection at home. No ten minutes there! Hell no! On a good day it would have taken two hours! As it was it finished at five or six this morning. *grrr*

Anyway I get home with this DVD burning a whole in my baggy and thoughts of 24 that will be on later. Teacher, who has been out of work for and hour and a half, has had a chance to chill and read her mail and the blogs and is basically bored shitless, suggests that we go to hers.

Being a guy, being sick and miserable. With a brand new game in my pocket. What do I do? I start flapping that I'm not well and basically making excuses for not going. Thinking that she will put it off for an hour or two. Or that she'll go home and come back if it's that important.

Nope. She just up's and leaves. When she calls later - by this point my evil plans have fallen apart and I've broken another machine - I'll just about ready to be convinced, to go out. Unfortunately, being the stubborn bastard that I am, she presses a button and suddenly there is nothing in the world I want more than to be all by myself with nothing to do and no one to speak to.

What can I say. It's a guy thing.

The unwell Krave strikes again.

2006-02-27T10:32:00.000-05:00

Ok. So she told me not to get all up in her mouth last weekend. Sure she was sick but we were out of town! On the road! Ya know what I mean!

So now I'm suffering for it. I look and feel like the chowowah out of Ren and Stimpy. Here. Something like this, if you've never seen it..

Basically my eyes feel just like that and my mouth.. Agh, we don't want to go there. Let alone the strange creatures that are living in my chest that I keep coughing up! Ugh!

On the plus side though, I do feel better than I did yesterday!

Since I was alone most of the weekend, Teacher made herself scarce - something about visiting a friend on Saturday, then moving someone else - all excuses of course. As everyone know men are the worst complainers when they are sick. She just text'ed me asking if I was actually going to go to the doctors.. I'm a guy! I can still stand and even if I can't hear anything out of my left ear and it feels like I'm trying to cough up my small intestine, I'm still at work. Explaining my sympoms in graphic detail to anyone that is stupid enough to stand near me.

Ah well.

I won't go into it, again, but not much happened this weekend. Spent most of my awake time failing to install Linux on the Desktop at home. After two days I just went with the flow and let the installer do what the hell it wanted. Now I have to try and get the video working right..

Idiots guide to getting a day off of work.

2006-02-23T13:33:00.000-05:00

So was it the flu? Was it all the cheese? Or did he poison himself?

What the hell is he talking about? Is he delirious?

See it's like this. Passed out about 9:30 last night, not feeling brilliant, kind of shivery and miserable.

Woke up about 1 and started shouting for Hughey and Ralph on the big white phone. You know, Huuuuuughhhhhhhhey! Raaaaallllllllllph! Aye, ya get the picture probably too vividly. Finally went back to bed but it was all over. Shortly after I started shivering violently. Felling like crap.

What could have done this? Well there was the half pound of cheese I ate yesterday. Never a good idea for someone that's lactose intolerant. Then there is the standard cold theory. Or the toasty sandwich maker that I found in a draw, that Teacher thought was strange smelling after it came out of the micro, but I ignored that. What's a strange plume of blue smoke gonna do? The nuked my - cheese - sandwich in it anyway. *sigh*

Going back to bed now, or sofa I should say. Checked my work mail and nothings going on. No guilt. Urgh.

Update: Turns out Quagmire was out of the office sick as well. That points to the evil King! We both ate there yesterday. I knew that evil bastard was evil.

Flashback Wednesday

2006-02-22T16:15:00.000-05:00

Some where in this lovely little group is a very young Krave. If I could figure out how to put a circle on me, I would.. Unfortunately I'm technically challenged this afternoon.

After a blinding flash of inspiration..

Ahh, how cute is that! Looking back I don't think I was ever that young. Look at the innocent cherub! *snicker*

No internet, now the bobsliegh is on!

2006-02-21T21:41:00.001-05:00

Bloody hell! The Internet is down and I'm typing into a notepad. Feakin' hell.

Meanwhile, back in the basement.

Good day, although Teacher's at her sisters babysitting. I had planned on cleaning up and down and all around. I cleaned the whole upstairs, wiped the floors, vacuumed and all that. Bloody knackered now of course. But at least most of it's done. :) Tomorrow it's the basement. I can't feakin' wait! *grin*

The Mid brother, MSN'd me late this afternoon after just as I was submerged in work. After five days off, the little buggers had a list as long as my arm of stuff for me to do - or maybe the wanna do it bug was still in me. Can't help thinking that I've broken the back of that after all the cleaning. :)

If it's a nice day I think I'll nip down to the Librarians site and do a bit of diplomacy. She's flim-flaming there ex techy. He was in Iraq for a year, just after we took over the contract and the poor bastard is getting to grips with having all of his rights removed from his little world.

Shit I can't concentrate. The bloody Womens bobsleigh is on. How am I supposed to con.. What? Where?! Who am I?

Oh my dad called as well just to say that the Armageddon sound byte that I sent him wasn't funny. He had just had his innards inspected with the camera. For some reason he pretended to be un-amused by the description of a gerbil being fired out of someone's ass, when the persons partner couldn't coax it out so light a match to find it. The match ignighted a pocket of gas and the poor little bugger was fired out. Breaking the cheek of the match wielder and giving the gerbil holder sever intestinal burns.. *grin* I was looking for a link but my web is going up and down like a whores draws.

2006-02-21T21:41:00.000-05:00

Day 3 and four?

2006-02-20T21:17:00.000-05:00

So the unofficial reason for the trip, at least for me, was to pick up some of that wonderful Yuengling stuff.

unfortunately we indulged a bit too much last night. Went to this absolutely superb bar and restaurant - Fat Heads - in the trendy part of Pittsburgh. Had a couple of beers, then went looking for more. Little did we know that most of that part of town closes down at 11pm on a Sunday.

Damn. After hunting round for a while we discovered this little out of the way place. Turned out to be a student bar. Oh and unfortunately they were doing Karaoke.

Now Teacher and her friends really like Karaoke, and after the lemon drops were popped. Oh they went down so very nicely. Any way there was loads of drinking and loads of singing. We were some of the best - of course - not that I actually sang, of course. :) Not known for singing is our Krave. Of course when I started singing along to The Darkness, they all started staring at me strangely.

I was feeling rather good this morning, the same can't be said for Teacher. She's been feeling like crap all day. In fact she's still felling like carp. As I write this she's lying on the sofa groaning and moaning. Poor baby.

So just before we came home we went in past what I have come to believe is flatpack Mecca. Ikea. What an amazing place. Even with a dodgey belly I was still getting goose pimples as I ogled the living room displays and the kitchen displays. Oh my god. Then there was the nicknacks! *shudder*

Anyway, Teacher bought me a rolly kitchen table thing for me to put the micowave on. Built it after the after drive nap, while making her dinner and doing laundry.

I am man see me build! Awesome!

Alright, tired, going to bed.

On the road day 2? I don't remember..

2006-02-19T18:53:00.000-05:00

Moved on from Gettysburg. At the moment I'm blogging from a cheapo-inn. Just outside Pittsburgh. Even though it's only $40 a night, I can still hijack - err, borrow - someone's wireless connection. :)

Lastnight was bloody freezing so the ghost tour, then dinner, then getting shiters was revised to Haunted tour, dinner and back to the room with some carryout.

The tour was cool. I had my long Janes on - that's the right name for women's longlohns, no? Any way didn't start off too bad but by the third hour, it was sucking.. Although most of the tour took place inside of houses there was the inevitable wandering around outside em. It must have been 10 or 15 below zero Fahrenheit. *shudder* Freakin' freezing!

Any way what was really interesting was when they were takin' about taking photo's and strange stuff appearing. It would appear that I have a magic ghost spotting camera, because almost all of the pictures I take have what they were calling "presences" or "orbs". Like this one;

Little snowflake thing in the top middle. Most of the pictures that I take have em on em. Starts to get annoying when they appear all over the place.

I actually took pictures of my house before I bought it, to make sure that there wasn't any little buggers in there ;)

unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on how you look at it - I didn't bring my camera. I've left the bloody battery somewhere.

Ah well. I better find Teacher. She's nipped next door to talk to her friends. Wonder if we are gonna go out drinkin'. *grin*

Gettysburg - day 1

2006-02-18T18:10:00.000-05:00

So here I blog from historic Gettysberg. If your thinking of visiting in the winter, can I suggest you bring a along a pair of long johns as well as the one-a-day vitimins, the Pepto and the bits and pieces for hangover control ;)

Ripped into the Yuengling last night, ah what lovely stuff. Unlike my compatriots I didn't get a hangover, although I did pass out in the back of the car as we took the do-it-yourself battlefield tour.. Could Krave still have been drunk? Nahh, that never happens!

Got the ghost tour tonight, now that I have my ladies logjohns on. They didn't have any mens ones in Wallmart - bastards! At least I'm warm though. Possitively toasty in my pants as it happens.. Ahh but I digress. It's always fun having a friend when you stay in a strange hotel.

2006-02-16T14:47:00.000-05:00

What a great night. Although she threatened to take me to a "fast" Streakhouse - you know the type, you get to stand in line for 45 minutes, they sit ya down, eat and get the hell out. All nice and clinical for a Friday or Saturday night.

Instead of the fast and furious she took me deep into the Getto. To a student-esc oasis where there were loads of little cafe's and little "international" bars. There she took me into this little out of the way resaurant. Very, very nice. Couple of beers. Just what the doctor ordered.

Went to see her sister so she could drop off the little Valanines presents for the kids - is that just and American thing? I would have felt really odd if my auntie had give me stuff for Valentines.. Anyway that was nice, on the way to her house though there was a strange "thwang" noise, followed by a thunk, thunk, thunk. When we go to Teachers house, she wanted to check her mail and what-not - oh that reminds me I have to send in that rebate. Back in a sec..

OK. The $60 rebate form is filled out and now I just have to post the little bugger.

So while were at Teachers appartment we look under the bonnet - language reversion! - and the serpentine (what used to be called the fanbelt) is frayed and part of it is whiping the underside of the bonnet. I cut the offending piece of belt with the intent of putting back in the shop today.

That's how the day's been. As planned got my tags and a shiny new driving license - amazingly enough I was in and out in twenty minutes. Having failed in my attempt to convince Teacher to say home from work because she wasn't well. Honest she isn't, but she was humming and harring, then went in anyway. She did try and get my lazy ass out of bed, under the pretense of "being productive".

I think she was rather upset when she called at 10:30 to find me in line for an emmisions check. *grin* I really like her way of thinking though ;)

So I'm now sitting at work while they fix my car. I was standing around outside for an hour until they finally took my car in. Hopefully I should hear from em shortly.. But there mechanics.. I may never see it again..