Strange encounters...
Blimey! This dating thing is hard work. Or right not so much work as I don’t know sleep depriving!
How bizarre is this?
As you may have guessed I had a date again last night. Couldn’t really decide what to do for dinner – she conned me into choosing, “It’s your date, you have to choose the venue.” Nice! This became a theme… Anyway neither of us could figure out what we really wanted so I whisked her off to Applebee’s. Seemed like a plan. Food is ok and they have a decent selection, I didn’t know if she was a Veggie or something.
So there we are chatting and watching the people as ya do. I had just realised that she was only comprehending one in every three words when the waitress turns up.
”Could we have a minute, please? We haven’t had a chance to look at the menu’s yet.”
She blinks at me.
I smile – as I do, ya know to say, “Hello! Why are you staring at me like that? You do see the girl sitting across from me don’t you?”
She wanders off and the girlie and I start reading the menu and discussing what were gonna have. The pair of us are still pondering what were going to have when the waitress pops up again and starts babbling on about the specials.
We both order a Coors Light – the flavour of the Rockies, freakin’ pish water but you can still drive after a couple – “are you a couple” asks the waitress
Girly and I look blankly at each other. Then at her.
“Are you married?”
“Err”, I say, a tad confused as to why the waitress would be asking such a strange question before she’s even asked what we want to order for dinner.
“I need to know for the promotion...”, she waves at the end of the table
I look over at Girly in a vain attempt to figure out if she knows what this strange women is on about. I get a blank look in return and we both return our attention to the nutter.
“..I can only give you one if you single.”, into the ensuing silence and blank looks she interjects, “The football DVD. There’s four to collect.”
“Yes were single”, I say gallantly I thought. I was thinking, Piss off ya stupid bastard and get our drinks!
It continues on in this vain for most of the dinner with her popping up at unexpected times and saying random stuff. At one point she asked Girly “Where did you get him?!”, like I was a special offer. I told her she should have said I came free with the purchase of the complete Victoria Secrets catalogue.
Ahh well, it’s stuff like that that make dates strange and interesting. Or so Girly tells me…
How bizarre is this?
As you may have guessed I had a date again last night. Couldn’t really decide what to do for dinner – she conned me into choosing, “It’s your date, you have to choose the venue.” Nice! This became a theme… Anyway neither of us could figure out what we really wanted so I whisked her off to Applebee’s. Seemed like a plan. Food is ok and they have a decent selection, I didn’t know if she was a Veggie or something.
So there we are chatting and watching the people as ya do. I had just realised that she was only comprehending one in every three words when the waitress turns up.
”Could we have a minute, please? We haven’t had a chance to look at the menu’s yet.”
She blinks at me.
I smile – as I do, ya know to say, “Hello! Why are you staring at me like that? You do see the girl sitting across from me don’t you?”
She wanders off and the girlie and I start reading the menu and discussing what were gonna have. The pair of us are still pondering what were going to have when the waitress pops up again and starts babbling on about the specials.
We both order a Coors Light – the flavour of the Rockies, freakin’ pish water but you can still drive after a couple – “are you a couple” asks the waitress
Girly and I look blankly at each other. Then at her.
“Are you married?”
“Err”, I say, a tad confused as to why the waitress would be asking such a strange question before she’s even asked what we want to order for dinner.
“I need to know for the promotion...”, she waves at the end of the table
I look over at Girly in a vain attempt to figure out if she knows what this strange women is on about. I get a blank look in return and we both return our attention to the nutter.
“..I can only give you one if you single.”, into the ensuing silence and blank looks she interjects, “The football DVD. There’s four to collect.”
“Yes were single”, I say gallantly I thought. I was thinking, Piss off ya stupid bastard and get our drinks!
It continues on in this vain for most of the dinner with her popping up at unexpected times and saying random stuff. At one point she asked Girly “Where did you get him?!”, like I was a special offer. I told her she should have said I came free with the purchase of the complete Victoria Secrets catalogue.
Ahh well, it’s stuff like that that make dates strange and interesting. Or so Girly tells me…
posted by Krave at 11:15
2 Comments:
The other option would be to say Yes, we are very married, just not to each other. We go out for sex and to pick up server girls for random 3-somes. Then ask if whe has any cute co-workers
Damn! I had thought of the married part but the rest was just genious! Of course I'm never going to get to use it again... But still! It's brilliant!
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