Miserable again, this is getting annoying!
I just sort of realised what a bloody miserable bastard I’ve been for the past couple of days. I shouldn’t be, I’m off to see the kiddy winkles in a couple of weeks. I dunno. Perhaps it’s mission impossible?
Intellectually I know it’s going to be a piece of piss, but it’s been a while since I was actually in the trenches, if ya know what I mean.
Lies. OK, not lies just not what’s been at the forefront of my mind, keeping me awake for the past three nights.
The freakin’ missive! Why did I read it and why am I still going on about it?! Why am I still going on about her, for Christ sake!
Skinny invited me to lunch yesterday! What the hell is that about?!
Hang on let me backpedal a bit here. I promised the girls that I would at least give an honest synopsis of the rebuttal. That’s what it was, a rebuttal. I don’t blame her. She basically corrected some errors here and to be honest I was a tad bias when I was writing up the document in question… There was some strange fluff in there about “not cheating on you while I was going out with you”, gotta love that line. That’s the similar one the wife used six months before she was pregnant with P’s first one. There was also no mention of Scaly (the very thought of Scaly sends shivers down my spine) except as “my friends”.
Here’s what’s killing me: “So I hope when you are done posting on the internet to all your friends and anonymous readers about what a monster I am and then sending it to me so that I feel so bad about myself that I no longer even feel human, you could consider rebuilding our friendship. I am not asking you to rekindle anything, but you are still one of the most important people in my life. You were the first person to ever actually bring joy to my life.
If not, I wish you the best in everything, and I appreciate every moment I ever spent with you.”
Ow. :(
Ammendment:
Since this post, I've had a chance to think about it. Here's the problem. I want to be friends with Roxy. Until I heal it can't happen. At the moment it's like an itchy scab that I keep picking off and set it off bleeding again. Given time. I know we can be fine again. I just need to close this shit up without becoming all infected. Skinny calling and coming round isn't helping any.
So hopefully this will be the last Roxy post for a while. Unless I'm bored of course...
Intellectually I know it’s going to be a piece of piss, but it’s been a while since I was actually in the trenches, if ya know what I mean.
Lies. OK, not lies just not what’s been at the forefront of my mind, keeping me awake for the past three nights.
The freakin’ missive! Why did I read it and why am I still going on about it?! Why am I still going on about her, for Christ sake!
Skinny invited me to lunch yesterday! What the hell is that about?!
Hang on let me backpedal a bit here. I promised the girls that I would at least give an honest synopsis of the rebuttal. That’s what it was, a rebuttal. I don’t blame her. She basically corrected some errors here and to be honest I was a tad bias when I was writing up the document in question… There was some strange fluff in there about “not cheating on you while I was going out with you”, gotta love that line. That’s the similar one the wife used six months before she was pregnant with P’s first one. There was also no mention of Scaly (the very thought of Scaly sends shivers down my spine) except as “my friends”.
Here’s what’s killing me: “So I hope when you are done posting on the internet to all your friends and anonymous readers about what a monster I am and then sending it to me so that I feel so bad about myself that I no longer even feel human, you could consider rebuilding our friendship. I am not asking you to rekindle anything, but you are still one of the most important people in my life. You were the first person to ever actually bring joy to my life.
If not, I wish you the best in everything, and I appreciate every moment I ever spent with you.”
Ow. :(
Ammendment:
Since this post, I've had a chance to think about it. Here's the problem. I want to be friends with Roxy. Until I heal it can't happen. At the moment it's like an itchy scab that I keep picking off and set it off bleeding again. Given time. I know we can be fine again. I just need to close this shit up without becoming all infected. Skinny calling and coming round isn't helping any.
So hopefully this will be the last Roxy post for a while. Unless I'm bored of course...
posted by Krave at 10:01
4 Comments:
Oh hon, I've heard similar stuff to what Roxy wrote re. important relationship, etc. and wanting to be friends. For me the translation has always been "I just want you close enough so that I can jerk you around some more if the moment and desire should arise to do so". But maybe that's just me being bitter.
Sorry it's been so rough for you.
EM: Thank you darlin' :) That does indeed appear to be the general consensus. I'm gonna stay away from her and let my wounds heal over before I try and tackle it again. According to Surly all I need is "a jolly good seeing too", I'm paraphrasing, but ya get the drift :)
I think EM and I are on the same page. But it's so hard to let go. Hang in there.
Yeah, I'm with EM and Snooze. Don't be friends just yet. I've heard similar stuff. It took me a two year break before I could be friends again...and even then it was weird!
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