Pleasures remembered.
I want to smoke. There I said it. That’s the conclusion of the past couple of weeks.
I know. “It’s been 10 months!” “Your doing so well!” blah, blah!
What they don’t mention is that when you go out you smoke a whole pack of an evening anyway – at least my clothes smell like I had a whole pack. Then I wake up in the morning and I’m gasping, literally. I have no idea why, I just start panting and forgetting that I’m supposed to breath. Very annoying.
What happened to those days when I could enjoy the little things and it would get me through the day. Is it boredom that’s causing me to pull my hair out when I’m at work or when I work from home?
Yep I still want to smoke. Slipping the cigarette between my lips. Sucking a huge mouthful of smoke – always hold it in you mouth first, it doesn’t do to suck it straight down and start throwing up all over yourself. Holding the smoke for a beat to let it cool, then opening my mouth slightly and gently inhaling. Feeling the euphoria overwhelming me as the Nicotine starts running around my body. Then the long, long exhale. The huge plume of waste smoke dissipating gradually away. Perhaps a playful smoke ring.
Um. If I remember correctly the first part of being happy in the little things is to do something small to make yourself happier. Like cleaning my pigsty of an office. OK. Back later and I’ll let you know what if anything I accomplished.
I know. “It’s been 10 months!” “Your doing so well!” blah, blah!
What they don’t mention is that when you go out you smoke a whole pack of an evening anyway – at least my clothes smell like I had a whole pack. Then I wake up in the morning and I’m gasping, literally. I have no idea why, I just start panting and forgetting that I’m supposed to breath. Very annoying.
What happened to those days when I could enjoy the little things and it would get me through the day. Is it boredom that’s causing me to pull my hair out when I’m at work or when I work from home?
Yep I still want to smoke. Slipping the cigarette between my lips. Sucking a huge mouthful of smoke – always hold it in you mouth first, it doesn’t do to suck it straight down and start throwing up all over yourself. Holding the smoke for a beat to let it cool, then opening my mouth slightly and gently inhaling. Feeling the euphoria overwhelming me as the Nicotine starts running around my body. Then the long, long exhale. The huge plume of waste smoke dissipating gradually away. Perhaps a playful smoke ring.
Um. If I remember correctly the first part of being happy in the little things is to do something small to make yourself happier. Like cleaning my pigsty of an office. OK. Back later and I’ll let you know what if anything I accomplished.
posted by Krave at 10:04
4 Comments:
And I just had what i would consider the most delicious cigarette ever! It was a smooth turkish and domestic blend. Breath taking.
But if you tried to start smoking again, I'm afraid I'd have to have you killed. And not in a good way with like Ms Bees.
It would be a shame to start after 10 months, but whenever I give up coffee (I don't smoke), no matter how good I feel, I always go back. I just love the habit.
I WARNED you that somewhere around the 10th month you would have scary episodes where it feels like your body has stopped breathing, and your heart does a jump to make you notice you need to take a breath (like real soon, or you're gonna die!). It's like a last-ditch withdrawal thing, where your body is saying PLEEEASE GIVE ME SOME NICOTINE.......PLEEEASE!!!!!
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