No. That is NOT dancing.

I was going to start today’s entry with another boring, “blah”.  I realised that I can’t though.   For a couple of reasons.  First of all the weekend was a lot of fun.  Second it’s way too early to right the day off – wow that was almost drphilosophical!

The point is I’m just tired.  Stayed over at the Teacher’s last night – the aforementioned “girlie” has been official christened “teacher” at least until I can think of a better title.  We were out late the night before cos of the clocks going back and the bars staying open an extra hour *shudder*  I really didn’t need that.  So there was the whole drifting in and out of consciousness on Sunday.  Funny stayed at hers that night as well.  

It would appear there’s a trend kicking in here.  If we are drinking we are a hell of a lot more likely too stay at her’s.  On work nights, it’s almost always mine.  Fair enough (  Somethin’s up though.  Nah, that’s not right.  I’m a bit embarrassed and upset.  When we’re out I tend to get a tad rambunctious.  ok.  Ya got me.  As those of you that have seen me out.  It makes absolutely no difference who I’m out with.  I tend to go from quite and unobtrusive to dancing on the bar and trying to get undressed to the “You can leave your hat on” by Joe Cocker (these are of course extremes, I have been know to go from one to the other from time to time though.)  

So there I was on Saturday night with her friends in fancy dress, me all embarrassed cos I didn’t get dressed up, come on, half the bar were sad like me.  Were all having a good time when people start wanting to dance with me.  The only reason I attempted it all is because the girl was dressed up as a naughty school girl.  What’s a boy to do?  Any way the theme progressed even though we changed locations.

In the Teachers local Karaoke bar.  I must digress again here.  I don’t go to Karaoke anymore.  Not because I don’t like doing it or watching the local’s murdering my favorite songs, no.  The reason is very simple.   People that I have been to these places with me before tend not to take me along any more.  They would prefer to abstain rather than have to apologize to all those around me I  offend by A) Attempting to sing louder than the people with the microphone, from the back of the bar.  Or B) Simply making an ass out of myself which ever way seems appropriate depending on the amount of alcohol I have consumed up to that point.  It tends to be proportional… Say no more.

So there we were, her friends immediately sign up for songs and she’s right in the fray with em.  I’m at the back watching the people and trying not to wince too badly as someone – I’m still not sure if it was a boy or girl – was belting out “Bat out of hell” by Meatloaf.  Murdered I tell ya!  When I find myself singing along.  Not too bad even if I do say so myself.  No problem.  The trouble started when someone put that song on that has the lyric “let’s see your booty bounce”.  Let’s just say it pushed me over the edge.  It was that or the one armed pool player – I’m not jokin’ there’s this guy that kicks everyones ass at pool, but he only has one arm – who turned up as get this.  Tarzan.  He had a tee shirt cut off at the midriff I believe it would be call.  This was simply an effort to hide?  Display?  The Tiger striped g-string.  No that’s not right.  I don’t think that it had a the bottom piece.  Perhaps it did I wasn’t really looking that hard.  How ever I did notice as did everyone in the bar with the possible exception of blind Gerald was that he was basically hanging out.  Which wouldn’t have been a problem I suppose except for the fact that he started dancing.  OK, so drunk young women were dragging him up to get a better look at this new exciting phenomenon.  Then exclaiming to there friends that the can’t believe that they actually grabbed “it” by accident.  Yeah what ever “Tarzan”!  Ha!

Either way I was a tad riled up and started what even my most loyal of supporters would call the epileptic.  In fact just about everyone that’s seen me dancing believe that I am in fact going into some kind of apoplectic shock (I tried looking for a definition but I kept finding things that could be the cause of my headaches), I sort of just stand there shaking.  The scary thing is that if it’s in the correct context – the correct context is actually very limited.  About the only place I’ve been able to “dance” and not be stared at was in a club in Techno Club in Aberdeen (Scotland).  So there I am doing my thing when the Teacher comes over and say’s “Are you ok?  Do you need something?  I can call for an ambulance if you need one.  Here.  Perhaps you should sit down for a minute.”  It came out all at once.  She was actually worried that I was having a seizure!  Bloody special education teachers.  Just cos ya see something a lot at work… Never mind.  

Anyway the bottom line is that through the rest of the night she’s shushing me and telling me that I’m getting out of hand and a little worked up, etc.  I was actually getting really upset, especially since her friends were joining in and most folks were watching “Tarzan” or the “Sultan and the courtesan” (let’s just say that the “courtesan” liked wrapping her self round the “Sultan”) while listening to the “singing”.  

Upon reflection though I realised that she was simply protecting the pair of us from my excesses.  I’m just not used to people trying to restrain my enthusiasm.  Last time that happened was the middle brother.  “Yes I know that there are children present.  You don’t honestly think that I’m swearing in front of them deliberately do you?!”  *sigh*  Then I had the rather startling insight that when I’m out with her I have to be aware that I’m also reflecting on her.  

I know some of you will be saying, “WTF!  If she can’t deal get rid of her!”.  I could but perhaps I need to be trained on how to purport myself amongst other people again…

Oops lunch, back later when I figure out if I’m still upset.  I might even read this entry and see if it makes any sense..