Recently, over the past couple of weeks I’ve felt the influence of the “link” again. Strangely enough it’s much like the need for a smoke. It’s like a need. The problem is the images that sometimes come along with it. Most of the time it’s flash backs of the happy times – before the.. Never mind. It makes no difference. My feelings of betrayal are only magnified because of my guilt. I am over her. I still can’t believe how foolish I was though to be sucked into that situation. I keep kicking myself. Soon that has to stop as well. Ah well.
Back to the present. I’m going to Virginia for a huge conference of my peers tomorrow. Not sure if I’m panicking yet or not. I shouldn’t like since I probably have the most seniority :) Of course there is also the problem of getting too potted tomorrow night. The course starts on Thursday, tomorrow is simply meetings, and probably a huge bender.
Maybe I’m worried that everything is going so well, I’m almost extaticly happy, my debts are under control and the biggest complaint that I have is that the house needs cleaning, which I could have done anytime. Just couldn’t be arsed. Oh and the fact that the Librarian can’t take responsibility for anything. If I hear “But I told you about it last week” one more time, closely followed by “Well why haven’t you done anything about it?”. Take some bloody initiative for Gods sake!
Ah well at least she’s going to be out of the country for the next couple of weeks. I wish I was! *grin*
Teacher: Don’t feel despondent if you read this. I am all yours. I simply had to expel some nastiness. Much like throwing up after drinking bleach. I’ve done the milk thing now I have to get it all out so it can heal. Love you.
1 Comments:
Sweetie, it's like nicotine and drink. Addictive and hard to kick. People look at the same things through different windows. Everyone has dreams, but reach them in the way that works for them. Teacher knows this. You two were meant to be. That's why it all happened. Hugs!
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