A Christmas story
I want to talk about somethin’, but I have no idea what. I could write about Surly and the magical mystery kidney stone. That seems cruel though. After how wrong is it that he’s just found himself a women and now his tackle is unusable?! That’s just plain wrong!
Or how about my miserable Dad, who I spoke to a couple of days ago. After talking to me about how he can’t have much time left, after all he’s only budgeted being alive for a certain amount of time and it’s quickly arriving. You know. The usual. We are down to the filler before we hang up, when. “Do ya want speak to your Grandmother?”
Do ya know in movies and that, where the guy actually takes the phone from his ear and stares at it? I used to think that it was the biggest load of crap. Who’s actually going to look at the phone as if it’s grown two heads? Right?
Well knock me over with a freaking feather if I didn’t come too looking at my phone with what must have been a blank look on my face.
“Hello? Krave? Hello? Are you still there?”, Comes out tinnily over the tiny cell phone speaker.
“Yes I’m here, you mean your mother? My Grandmother?”
“Of course, here let me put her on..”
“Krave? You there?”, says this voice that I realise that I haven’t heard in a long time. Little did I know.
“Is that you Nana? How the hell are ya? Are you at Dad’s place?”, says I. Where the else is she going to be?
“Oh, yes. Been here for a couple of days. I’m doing OK but he had to come and get me. How have you been. I haven’t seen you since you were a lad. You’re all grown up now aren’t ya..”, she started with
“..Uh..”, I tried to say
“.. Yes I haven’t seen you in what is it now?”
“..Uh..”
“Yes it must be after your Grandfather past. That would be twenty years ago. Yes that’s right because I moved into the housing nearly twenty one years ago, now. Doesn’t time fly”
“Uh.. Yes Nana.. It can’t be that long can it?”, I finally manage to squeeze in when she pauses for breath. I know where my Dad got his lung capacity from.
“Oh yes it’s been that long. Did your father tell you that I ask about you every single time I call? When are you going to come and see me. I spoke to your brother today and he said that he would come and see me next year. Aren’t his kids gorgeous? How are yours doing. They look lovely as well. They must be getting old now aren’t they?”
Very fast, “Yes, yes they are. Is he? 15 and ..”
“You know I’m eighty six now don’t you. I’m not going to round much longer. Promise that you’ll come and see me the next time that you come over. Go on. Promise.”
“Err. OK”
“Oh. Now that miserable father of yours is tapping his watch at me, he obviously doesn’t want me speaking to you any more”
“OK, Nana”
”Hello?”, says a man’s voice, as I stare at the phone for the second time in ten minutes.
“Dad? Why didn’t you tell me that Nana was there? And why didn’t you tell me that she asks after me every time she calls?”, says I astounded by the tirade.
“Alright Krave, well ya know how she is. Gotta go now. Err. Call you later. OK?”
“Sure..”
How very strange.
Or how about my miserable Dad, who I spoke to a couple of days ago. After talking to me about how he can’t have much time left, after all he’s only budgeted being alive for a certain amount of time and it’s quickly arriving. You know. The usual. We are down to the filler before we hang up, when. “Do ya want speak to your Grandmother?”
Do ya know in movies and that, where the guy actually takes the phone from his ear and stares at it? I used to think that it was the biggest load of crap. Who’s actually going to look at the phone as if it’s grown two heads? Right?
Well knock me over with a freaking feather if I didn’t come too looking at my phone with what must have been a blank look on my face.
“Hello? Krave? Hello? Are you still there?”, Comes out tinnily over the tiny cell phone speaker.
“Yes I’m here, you mean your mother? My Grandmother?”
“Of course, here let me put her on..”
“Krave? You there?”, says this voice that I realise that I haven’t heard in a long time. Little did I know.
“Is that you Nana? How the hell are ya? Are you at Dad’s place?”, says I. Where the else is she going to be?
“Oh, yes. Been here for a couple of days. I’m doing OK but he had to come and get me. How have you been. I haven’t seen you since you were a lad. You’re all grown up now aren’t ya..”, she started with
“..Uh..”, I tried to say
“.. Yes I haven’t seen you in what is it now?”
“..Uh..”
“Yes it must be after your Grandfather past. That would be twenty years ago. Yes that’s right because I moved into the housing nearly twenty one years ago, now. Doesn’t time fly”
“Uh.. Yes Nana.. It can’t be that long can it?”, I finally manage to squeeze in when she pauses for breath. I know where my Dad got his lung capacity from.
“Oh yes it’s been that long. Did your father tell you that I ask about you every single time I call? When are you going to come and see me. I spoke to your brother today and he said that he would come and see me next year. Aren’t his kids gorgeous? How are yours doing. They look lovely as well. They must be getting old now aren’t they?”
Very fast, “Yes, yes they are. Is he? 15 and ..”
“You know I’m eighty six now don’t you. I’m not going to round much longer. Promise that you’ll come and see me the next time that you come over. Go on. Promise.”
“Err. OK”
“Oh. Now that miserable father of yours is tapping his watch at me, he obviously doesn’t want me speaking to you any more”
“OK, Nana”
”Hello?”, says a man’s voice, as I stare at the phone for the second time in ten minutes.
“Dad? Why didn’t you tell me that Nana was there? And why didn’t you tell me that she asks after me every time she calls?”, says I astounded by the tirade.
“Alright Krave, well ya know how she is. Gotta go now. Err. Call you later. OK?”
“Sure..”
How very strange.
posted by Krave at 12:28
1 Comments:
Oh man, what a bizarre chat with your dad.
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