Ho-Ho-Ho

It must be Christmas already.  There I was this morning stark necked shaving off my two day stubble.  My family are probably shaking there heads at this, since when I left Scotland I couldn't grow any facial.  Alright I could.  I had a twelve year old's 'tache when I was 20, never was hairy.  Funny how that changed when I hit 32!  Must have been all the rough living!

Anyway there I was necked as I said, shaving with my five year old electric razor.  Well it wasn't exactly shaving it was more like electric plucking.  For a while now the poor old bastard hasn't been able to keep a charge, so after been on the road and not being plugged in for two days, it was buggered.

That's how Teacher found me.  Cursing the piece of shit as it stalled again, with a clump of my face in it's tiny blunt teeth.  Having had enough I pulled the bastard thing apart thinking that may be if I cleaned out the rotating bits perhaps it might run a bit more smoothly.

Once it was apart, small pieces promptly snapped off.  I watched in resigned horror as they slowly slid down the plug hole.

That's when Santa appeared with a shiny new replacement!   I tried to refuse, I even had a shower.  refusing to look at my present before the big day.  I knew all along that I didn't have a choice, she already had the scissors out and was cutting into the plastic bubble that it was wrapped in.

"it needs to charge", I said grudgingly

She proceeded to make a liar out of me by pressing the power button. 

Half an hour later with a nice clean face the old piece of shit was simply a bitter memory.

Ho-ho!  It doesn't take half an hour shave!  What were you doing, then.. It does if she helps you.  :)