Surly is back in action!

Oh dear god!  Lock up your farm yard animals, Surly is back in action!  

Aye, too busy to write again!  Damn!

Couldn’t just leave it like that, so here’s somethin’ from Teacher: (I’m an Aquarius by the way)

Alcohoroscopes

ARIESDrinking styleImpulsive Aries people like to party and sometimes don't know when to callit a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shotcontests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after acouple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk is a good way to get what youwant out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicosewhen blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be  forgiven(if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same foryou -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really  horrible tothem last night, you sneaky Gemini.TAURUSDrinking styleTaurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glowrather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is aone-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spillsred wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the  preferencefor wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and  barfing isquite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say that the  Bull is byany means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get,  er,gregarious (full of loudmouth soup, some would say) and is extremelyamusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.GEMINIDrinking styleGeminis can drink without changing their behavior much -- they're sonaturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tellsometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion,  then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication,  like puking in your shoe. Geminis possess the magic ability to flirtsuccessfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with severalpeople at once. They like to order different cocktails every round --repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.CANCERDrinking styleCancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or anafter-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling?Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard againstlushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties andinsinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style,Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional"(read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swappingstories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favoriteCancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules theflavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka andsoda.LEODrinking styleLeo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, andusually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity andturning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leoswill be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably becausethey loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expectflirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. ButLeo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore  it(try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.VIRGODrinking styleCerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Theirfamously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than othersigns, sure -- but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to suckingdown organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fullyshellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect,but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose whenwalloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friendused to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low level ofintelligence tonight." A toast to the subgenius IQ!LIBRADrinking style"I'm just a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damnsocial?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate toeveryone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Friend deviceset to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little  instigatorswhen bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as  they are,Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which  can get theminto all sorts of trouble -- including wearing their wobbly  boots waaaaytoo early in the evening, flirting with their best friend's  beau or evenblacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!SCORPIODrinking styleDon't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you andquietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk,out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have  aproblem with that. Most of them see the sauce as something to savor initself, and not as a personality-altering tool * though if depressed,self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they'refascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzyingflirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when youwere blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.SAGITTARIUSDrinking styleIn vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: Whenbuttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own.Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is asign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign ofSinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?).They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, orCancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a highpossibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).CAPRICORNDrinking styleCapricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry andstatus-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrologicalcocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox,not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent,powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if theymake money being themselves, who are you to quibble? But just like mostrock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generallyneed a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party,especially if they can hook up with a cute groupie.AQUARIUSDrinking styleAquarius and drinking don't go together that well (except for water, thatis). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get  anidea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone.If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're toopreoccupied with their duties to get combative * and they make perfectlycharming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capitaldrink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can getthem before they start raising their wrist) Aquarius is fascinated by  drunkpeople and capable of holding interesting conversations with sousedstrangers while sober.PISCESDrinking styleIf you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a signand an addictive personality -- with Liz Taylor, Liza Minelli and KurtCobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy,  out-therefeeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty  tolerancefast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand,  they'refabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. Withthe right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of  margaritas andwind up in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive  personality" can beread two ways, you know.