Summer blues..

Funny init. When your basically happy all the time, you start looking for stuff to be unhappy about. Or that’s the way it seems to me sometimes.

Teacher left for her conference thingy on Sunday morning. Saturday night I couldn’t sleep. Again. This time though I came to the sudden realization that I’m being unfair to Teacher. There I am being a miserable bastard all the time. She drags me out of the house sometimes literally kicking and screaming – yes like a two year old – then I start whining all over the place.

Like the faire we went to on Saturday for example. Whining and crying all the way there. I park the car and I’m like a little kid! I was all excited and stuff. We had a great time! What the hell is wrong with me?!

So back to Sunday morning. I’m lying in bed wondering why I’m doin’ this stupid stuff. I can’t figure it out. It’s like I’m worried about leaving the house, but I want to escape the house at the same time. Does that make any kind of sense? How about this.

My addictions have me so subverted that even when I don’t even enjoy the video game any more I still have to sit there in front of the video alter. Of course the voice in my head is screaming at me that it’s a perfect day to be outside fiddling with the widows or mowing the lawn or some such. Which simply adds to my frustration. Add poor Teacher to the mix, who simply wants to do something. Anything! “lets just get out of the freakin’ house!”. *sigh*

Oh I’m also at that strange point of stopping smoking where you start missing the ten minutes of happiness every hour. Thankfully I have strong memories of the other side as well. Those times in the middle of winter when your hacking your lungs out, ahh yes must keep those to the front of the line.

Anyway. Bottom line is that I have to let some of this stupid shit go! Soon enough it’s going to be minus 20 below and we won’t want to go out and I’ll have all the game time I can take stand. So get your lazy ass out from behind that amazing desk setup, I’ll post a picture so you can appreciate what I’m talking about.